retirementfund

One dollar patches forever!

| 191,922 Sales |

Rave reviews

Average review rating is 4.8 or higher

Matt Gauck

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Announcement I’m on Instagram @veganpatches THANK YOU I LOVE YOU ALL

Announcement

Last updated on Mar 27, 2022

I’m on Instagram @veganpatches THANK YOU I LOVE YOU ALL

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191922 Sales

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Featured items

ANTI FASCIST PATCH death metal or black metal or grindcore but the point is its not white metal

$1.00

Bestseller

INDECENCY is not in the clothing but in the gaze PATCH gets you thinking huh

$1.00

Bestseller

GOODNIGHT WHITE PRIDE patch

$1.00

Bury Me With Books Bookmark SCREENPRINTED by me also drawn by me

$1.00

Bestseller

All Items

HEADHUNTER WITCH BACKPATCH ooh I did it again and this time it's a backpatch

$7.00

12 people have this in their cart

WITCH BACKPATCH number two the moon mover PATCH

$5.00

4 people have this in their cart

FIGHT ORCS not wars PATCH finally you crass loving dungens and dragns nuts have an image you can stand behind

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

antifascist as fuck PATCH AFAF haha what a delightful little play on words

$1.00

8 people have this in their cart

DEER SKULL oooh witchy and cool and spiderwebby and spooky but also thoughtful you know PATCH

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

WITCH mother nature as a witch BACKPATCH nature cults unite punk eerie and neat

$7.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

SNAKE WITCH PATCH whoa she's kneeling by the lakeside and her arm is turning into a snake ahhhhh get back

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

DEATHSHEAD MOTH aka the Acherontia otherwise known as that thing from the cover of that movie I forget PATCH oops haha

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

FALL BRINGER witch PATCH oooh get it she made the leaves die and turns the clock for us all

$1.00

20 people have this in their cart

Bury Me With Books Bookmark SCREENPRINTED by me also drawn by me

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

skull growing a plant PATCH

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

REGROW the planet PATCH

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

INDECENCY is not in the clothing but in the gaze PATCH gets you thinking huh

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

Television Garden PATCH

$1.00

11 people have this in their cart

Beer Sucks Drink Water XXX Straightedge Patch

$1.00

4 people have this in their cart

END MONOCULTURE patch corn is great and all but lets not destroy the earth over it come on people

$1.00

11 people have this in their cart

Support the ocean not an Aquarium PATCH vegan vegetarian pro ocean

$1.00

8 people have this in their cart

Fur is for animals Patch

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

HORROR PATCH oooh political I get it

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

CREW NECK SWEATSHIRTS multiple designs so get clickin

$25.00

6 people have this in their cart

RESCUE DOG I only bite jerks hope you aren't one haha PATCH

$1.00

12 people have this in their cart

NO ONE is ILLEGAL nadie es ilegal patch

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

Mother Nature black metal BACK PATCH huge punk diy vegan pro tree anti human

$7.00

16 people have this in their cart

Support your local girl gang patch take THAT you stupid mansplaining dumb dumbs

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

DEAD BABY horror PATCH brilliant zombie opus super gorey super bloody super hilarious

$1.00

10 people have this in their cart

ACAB all caterpillars are badass PATCH didn't see that coming did you

$1.00

5 people have this in their cart

CAPITALISM FAIL patch well the actual words are capitalism has failed us all but I wanted to be catchy PATCH

$1.00

16 people have this in their cart

The Earth is Not Dying Patch screenprinted Utah Phillips

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

GOODNIGHT WHITE PRIDE patch

$1.00

17 people have this in their cart

More old growth less economic growth PATCH up the trees down the economy

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

Gender pronoun PATCH they them

$1.00

10 people have this in their cart

SAVE THE EARTH patch bankrupt a corporation who are we kidding thinking recycling is helping enough to make a difference

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

ABORT THE COURT patch with this funky little devil tootin on her horn

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

BACKPATCH no gods no masters no bedtimes life rules so do skateboards and backpatches

$7.00

16 people have this in their cart

BEGOTTN HORROR PATCH easily the most unpopular item on etsy God Is Dead All Hail Nature

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

attention all dudes everywhere do NOT TOUCH ME patch

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

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Contact shop owner

Matt Gauck

Reviews

Average item review

(36146)

See reviews that mention:

SJ on Nov 28, 2022

5 out of 5 stars

I bought a whole bunch of these, and got one as a gift, they’re amazing. This is the one I was most excited about, and there’s plenty of room around the design too so you can cut the patch to the size and shape you want

THE THANG PATCH no not the fantastic fore lego man I mean a Carpenters horror opus thing

THE THANG PATCH no not the fantastic fore lego man I mean a Carpenters horror opus thing
Cole on Nov 28, 2022

5 out of 5 stars

Great company with great products!

BAT PATCH really what else do you expect me to write here

BAT PATCH really what else do you expect me to write here
milli on Nov 28, 2022

5 out of 5 stars

I love this patch. It came so quick and its perfect!!! Very good quality patches. This shop never fails.

THE THANG PATCH no not the fantastic fore lego man I mean a Carpenters horror opus thing

THE THANG PATCH no not the fantastic fore lego man I mean a Carpenters horror opus thing
Bettina on Nov 28, 2022

5 out of 5 stars

Great as in the picture. Thank you.

RAVEN PATCH do I really need to write anything else here well I can't stop, so here we are

RAVEN PATCH do I really need to write anything else here well I can't stop, so here we are
Howman on Nov 26, 2022

5 out of 5 stars

It was so good it was a nice little weekend project to get it on! Looks great!

RAVEN PATCH do I really need to write anything else here well I can't stop, so here we are

RAVEN PATCH do I really need to write anything else here well I can't stop, so here we are
SJ on Nov 28, 2022

5 out of 5 stars

I’m leaving another review because I bought a whole bunch of these and I will definitely have to purchase more in the future, I love all of them

BEGOTTN HORROR PATCH easily the most unpopular item on etsy God Is Dead All Hail Nature

BEGOTTN HORROR PATCH easily the most unpopular item on etsy God Is Dead All Hail Nature
Cole on Nov 28, 2022

5 out of 5 stars

Great company with great products!

skull with a candle burning PATCH part two I had to redraw it because the first one was messssseddd uppppp

skull with a candle burning PATCH part two I had to redraw it because the first one was messssseddd uppppp
Cole on Nov 28, 2022

5 out of 5 stars

Great company with great products!

SAINT FRED patron saint of NIGHTMARES patch

SAINT FRED patron saint of NIGHTMARES patch
Danica on Nov 28, 2022

5 out of 5 stars

MONKEY debating a human skull in that post apocalyptic way we all know and love PATCH

MONKEY debating a human skull in that post apocalyptic way we all know and love PATCH
Elizabeth on Nov 28, 2022

5 out of 5 stars

Bill Ayers Quote Patch political, punk, and always appropriate

Bill Ayers Quote Patch political, punk, and always appropriate

About retirementfund

Sales 191,922

On Etsy since 2011

Your orders now come in hand colored envelopes, courtesy of my wonderful partner! Be blown away by her artistic depth!
They just get better and better!

Printing stuff in my bedroom since 1995

Quick story, in blastbeat speed:

- My dad got me a screenprinting kit in 1995
- I messed up screenprints for years
- Eventually I got sorta good at it
- Most animal rights / veg patches are recycled images from a million years ago
- I was all "I think I can do better than that"
- I did!
- When you're doing things DIY, they should be cheap
- My shop name is a joke
- I hope that's clear
- Symbol crash! Story over!

Shop members

Matt Gauck

Owner, Total Genius

I'm some guy who draws and paints a lot. I ride my bike a lot. DIY for life! Corporate ANYTHING can touch my butt!

Shop policies

Last updated on May 9, 2022

I do everything myself! I love reusing and reducing even more than I like recycling! I ride my bike a lot! I sometimes like screenprinting. If your order has a piece of hair stuck in the tape on the back, it's because my beard is super thick and goes crazy sometimes! Count yourself lucky, and sell my dna on ebay for all I care! Who cares let's move on!

Accepted payment methods

Accepts Etsy Gift Cards and Etsy Credits

Returns & exchanges

See item details for return and exchange eligibility.

Cancellations

Cancellations: not accepted

Please contact the seller if you have any problems with your order.

Payment

I'm super approachable in real life and strive to do the same over the internet. It's NOT the same, but still. I prefer to be paid in whatever method works for you. If you think you want something then don't, that's totally fine. Email me with ANY problems, seriously, I will respond.

Shipping

I ship everything USPS, typically in white envelopes that are hand stamped with my return address. I try to get the out within about 3-6 days - I usually let etsy take up about 3 days of my week, between reprinting, filling orders, and heat setting. I don't do insurance or confirmation, unless you REALLY REALLY think you want it, which I really don't think you do. These are patches, not priceless works of art.

ANOTHER IMPORTANT THING about the cost - My goal here is to make ONE DOLLAR on each patch. That's my whole deal (save backpatches, which are bigger obviously). Anyway, the extra cost in shipping goes to cover things like the Etsy fees (there are more than one) and the Paypal percentage taken out of your payment. So if you get an order with just one stamp, and wonder why you paid 2 dollars in shipping, that is why. Hidden fees! They're everywhere! But you can get around those if you are smart. Seriously, just think about it. Let me know if you have questions. I write back to everything.

Additional policies and FAQs

TSHIRT INFORMATION: I switched all the black shirts over to ROYAL APPAREL BRAND shirts, which are organic, and USA made. No sweatshops, no messed up crap that comes with most manufactured things. I'm going to switch the grey ones over to Royal soon, but I gotta sell off the Gildan ones first. I mean, what can I do with 60 blank shirts for myself? Nothing helpful, that's what.

CUSTOM ORDER INFORMATION: I don't do custom orders! UNLESS you want over 50 of the same patch, at which point, yeah, go ahead and email me. I might be interested. MAAAAYBE.

OH OH OH THIS IS IMPORTANT sometimes I go on tour with my bicycle for weeks at a time, or with a band for weeks/months. I leave my shop open, which means you can still order stuff, but it also means you don't get it for awhile. HOWEVER if this is the case, I will do my best to make it VERY clear on the front page of my etsy site. So if you don't see a banner that says "your order won't ship until April of next year" then I'm likely at home. Bonus points if you're the patient type! If you're not, do better! You could be patient too!