retirementfund

One dollar patches forever!

| 171,798 Sales | 5 out of 5 stars 5 out of 5 stars

Rave reviews

95% or more recent reviews were 5 stars.

Contact

Announcement    I’m on Instagram @veganpatches THANK YOU I LOVE YOU ALL

Announcement

Last updated on Mar 27, 2022

I’m on Instagram @veganpatches THANK YOU I LOVE YOU ALL

Items

Contact shop owner
171798 Sales
25475 Admirers

Etsy automatically translates most text on the site to your preferred language.

See in original language

 

All Items

BACKPATCH CAPITALISM has FAILED us all patch that part might be redundant I now see

BACKPATCH CAPITALISM has FAILED us all patch that part might be redundant I now see

$5.00

12 people have this in their cart

ANTI FASCIST PATCH death metal or black metal or grindcore but the point is its not white metal

ANTI FASCIST PATCH death metal or black metal or grindcore but the point is its not white metal

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

RAVEN PATCH do I really need to write anything else here well I can't stop, so here we are

RAVEN PATCH do I really need to write anything else here well I can't stop, so here we are

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

HORROR PUNK Filth / Fulci mashup PATCH so brilliant and yet I fear nobody will care

HORROR PUNK Filth / Fulci mashup PATCH so brilliant and yet I fear nobody will care

$1.00

5 people have this in their cart

BACKPATCH Police Accountability its much bigger than the smaller one WHOA figure that out

BACKPATCH Police Accountability its much bigger than the smaller one WHOA figure that out

$7.00

eclipse the PATRIARCHY PATCH that's right I'm a man and I'm still on team 'get rid of traditional masculinity'

eclipse the PATRIARCHY PATCH that's right I'm a man and I'm still on team 'get rid of traditional masculinity'

$1.00

8 people have this in their cart

teeny little MEAT IS MURDER metal font patch

teeny little MEAT IS MURDER metal font patch

$1.00

4 people have this in their cart

FEMINIST black metal PATCH

FEMINIST black metal PATCH

$1.00

6 people have this in their cart

HORROR PATCH oooh political I get it

HORROR PATCH oooh political I get it

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

HORROR PATCH Angela from Sleepy Camp anti gender roles patch sexism sucks its 2016 get with the program people

HORROR PATCH Angela from Sleepy Camp anti gender roles patch sexism sucks its 2016 get with the program people

$1.00

Bestseller

ANARCHIST moon the only boss I listen to PATCH

ANARCHIST moon the only boss I listen to PATCH

$1.00

BACKPATCH astral snake ooh exciting cuz its like the small one but bigger now

BACKPATCH astral snake ooh exciting cuz its like the small one but bigger now

$7.00

4 people have this in their cart

take nothing leave everything screenprinted BACK PATCH pro earth anti stupid recycle yourself

take nothing leave everything screenprinted BACK PATCH pro earth anti stupid recycle yourself

$7.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

SAINT FRED patron saint of NIGHTMARES patch

SAINT FRED patron saint of NIGHTMARES patch

$1.00

15 people have this in their cart

GARBAGE CAN this dumb ole kkk tradition PATCH

GARBAGE CAN this dumb ole kkk tradition PATCH

$1.00

9 people have this in their cart

GAY PRIDE penguins in love PATCH

GAY PRIDE penguins in love PATCH

$1.00

7 people have this in their cart

skull with a candle burning PATCH part two I had to redraw it because the first one was messssseddd uppppp

skull with a candle burning PATCH part two I had to redraw it because the first one was messssseddd uppppp

$1.00

6 people have this in their cart

BAT PATCH really what else do you expect me to write here

BAT PATCH really what else do you expect me to write here

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

BIRD SKULL PATCH what kind of bird well I completely forget maybe one of you is an ornithologist and can remind me

BIRD SKULL PATCH what kind of bird well I completely forget maybe one of you is an ornithologist and can remind me

$1.00

6 people have this in their cart

DEFUND THE POLICE patch with options to donate also how exciting

DEFUND THE POLICE patch with options to donate also how exciting

$1.00

14 people have this in their cart

DRUGFREE BLACKMETAL PATCH or death metal if you wanna split hairs either way we know it's not pop punk

DRUGFREE BLACKMETAL PATCH or death metal if you wanna split hairs either way we know it's not pop punk

$1.00

14 people have this in their cart

ADOPT and RESCUE lots of animals PATCH super cute i mean look at that pig right

ADOPT and RESCUE lots of animals PATCH super cute i mean look at that pig right

$1.00

mother nature black metal patch diy and dark as heck

mother nature black metal patch diy and dark as heck

$1.00

7 people have this in their cart

DEATHSHEAD MOTH aka the Acherontia otherwise known as that thing from the cover of that movie I forget PATCH oops haha

DEATHSHEAD MOTH aka the Acherontia otherwise known as that thing from the cover of that movie I forget PATCH oops haha

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

ABOLISH ICE patch they are a mean spirited and unhelpful organization that should irritate the morality gene in everyone

ABOLISH ICE patch they are a mean spirited and unhelpful organization that should irritate the morality gene in everyone

$1.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

HORROR PATCH mashup Herbert goes to college

HORROR PATCH mashup Herbert goes to college

$1.00

14 people have this in their cart

MEGA DEAL 35 patches for only 25 dollars exclamation point

MEGA DEAL 35 patches for only 25 dollars exclamation point

$25.00

Over 20 people have this in their cart

anti monsanto patch EAT MY BOTTOM funny punk kinda weird but whatever

anti monsanto patch EAT MY BOTTOM funny punk kinda weird but whatever

$1.00

No Gods No Masters No Bedtimes LIFE RULES turtles skateboard patch

No Gods No Masters No Bedtimes LIFE RULES turtles skateboard patch

$1.00

13 people have this in their cart

less SNITCHING more STITCHING screenprinted patch

less SNITCHING more STITCHING screenprinted patch

$1.00

5 people have this in their cart

HUNT MUSHROOMS not animals PATCH

HUNT MUSHROOMS not animals PATCH

$1.00

5 people have this in their cart

V is for VEGAN patch

V is for VEGAN patch

$1.00

3 people have this in their cart

BANNED in DC now more than ever PATCH trump you idiot i am not a fan also dc and all politics you suck too

BANNED in DC now more than ever PATCH trump you idiot i am not a fan also dc and all politics you suck too

$1.00

8 people have this in their cart

Garlic screenprinted patch this crap saves lives

Garlic screenprinted patch this crap saves lives

$1.00

REGROW the planet PATCH

REGROW the planet PATCH

$1.00

10 people have this in their cart

Bill Ayers Quote Patch political, punk, and always appropriate

Bill Ayers Quote Patch political, punk, and always appropriate

$1.00

15 people have this in their cart

Etsy automatically translates most text on the site to your preferred language.

See in original language

Matt Gauck

Contact shop owner

Matt Gauck

Reviews

Average item review
5 out of 5 stars
(30822)
See reviews that mention:

About retirementfund

Sales 171,798
On Etsy since 2011
  • Your orders now come in hand colored envelopes, courtesy of my wonderful partner! Be blown away by her artistic depth!
  • They just get better and better!

Printing stuff in my bedroom since 1995

Quick story, in blastbeat speed:

- My dad got me a screenprinting kit in 1995
- I messed up screenprints for years
- Eventually I got sorta good at it
- Most animal rights / veg patches are recycled images from a million years ago
- I was all "I think I can do better than that"
- I did!
- When you're doing things DIY, they should be cheap
- My shop name is a joke
- I hope that's clear
- Symbol crash! Story over!

Shop members

  • Matt Gauck

    Owner, Total Genius

    I'm some guy who draws and paints a lot. I ride my bike a lot. DIY for life! Corporate ANYTHING can touch my butt!

Shop policies

Last updated on May 9, 2022
I do everything myself! I love reusing and reducing even more than I like recycling! I ride my bike a lot! I sometimes like screenprinting. If your order has a piece of hair stuck in the tape on the back, it's because my beard is super thick and goes crazy sometimes! Count yourself lucky, and sell my dna on ebay for all I care! Who cares let's move on!

Accepted payment methods

Paypal Visa Mastercard American Express Discover Apple Pay Klarna Giftcard
Accepts Etsy Gift Cards and Etsy Credits
Returns and exchanges
I gladly accept returns and exchanges
Contact me within: 14 days of delivery
Ship items back within: 30 days of delivery
I don't accept cancellations
But please contact me if you have any problems with your order.
The following items can't be returned or exchanged
Because of the nature of these items, unless they arrive damaged or defective, I can't accept returns for:
  • Custom or personalized orders
  • Perishable products (like food or flowers)
  • Digital downloads
  • Intimate items (for health/hygiene reasons)
Returns and exchange details
IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE YOUR ORDER that's totally not a big deal. The post office loses letters all the time, and because patches are tiny, it happens. PLEASE get in touch if you do not receive your item in 2 weeks time since it ships, and I will gladly work out something with you. Typically I will resend it free of charge, but the only way I know is if you write me! So you gotta! But don't scam me, that'd be super messed up. Besides, I'll know. I can tell.
Payment
I'm super approachable in real life and strive to do the same over the internet. It's NOT the same, but still. I prefer to be paid in whatever method works for you. If you think you want something then don't, that's totally fine. Email me with ANY problems, seriously, I will respond.
Shipping
I ship everything USPS, typically in white envelopes that are hand stamped with my return address. I try to get the out within about 3-6 days - I usually let etsy take up about 3 days of my week, between reprinting, filling orders, and heat setting. I don't do insurance or confirmation, unless you REALLY REALLY think you want it, which I really don't think you do. These are patches, not priceless works of art.

ANOTHER IMPORTANT THING about the cost - My goal here is to make ONE DOLLAR on each patch. That's my whole deal (save backpatches, which are bigger obviously). Anyway, the extra cost in shipping goes to cover things like the Etsy fees (there are more than one) and the Paypal percentage taken out of your payment. So if you get an order with just one stamp, and wonder why you paid 2 dollars in shipping, that is why. Hidden fees! They're everywhere! But you can get around those if you are smart. Seriously, just think about it. Let me know if you have questions. I write back to everything.
Additional policies and FAQs
TSHIRT INFORMATION: I switched all the black shirts over to ROYAL APPAREL BRAND shirts, which are organic, and USA made. No sweatshops, no messed up crap that comes with most manufactured things. I'm going to switch the grey ones over to Royal soon, but I gotta sell off the Gildan ones first. I mean, what can I do with 60 blank shirts for myself? Nothing helpful, that's what.

CUSTOM ORDER INFORMATION: I don't do custom orders! UNLESS you want over 50 of the same patch, at which point, yeah, go ahead and email me. I might be interested. MAAAAYBE.

OH OH OH THIS IS IMPORTANT sometimes I go on tour with my bicycle for weeks at a time, or with a band for weeks/months. I leave my shop open, which means you can still order stuff, but it also means you don't get it for awhile. HOWEVER if this is the case, I will do my best to make it VERY clear on the front page of my etsy site. So if you don't see a banner that says "your order won't ship until April of next year" then I'm likely at home. Bonus points if you're the patient type! If you're not, do better! You could be patient too!