Artisan Wooden Sex Toys

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Announcement    Thanks for giving my shop a look! I'm in the process of switching over to making all my products out of more desirable woods as well as bringing more unique builds to the storefront! Custom are officially open again as well, so bring me your awesome ideas and let's make them a reality!


Last updated on Nov 17, 2021

Thanks for giving my shop a look! I'm in the process of switching over to making all my products out of more desirable woods as well as bringing more unique builds to the storefront! Custom are officially open again as well, so bring me your awesome ideas and let's make them a reality!


D Towns

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D Towns


Average item review
5 out of 5 stars
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About LumberjillLovecrafts

Sales 300
On Etsy since 2014

So, Funny Story

I knew I always wanted to work for myself and be my own boss. I could be a fantastic employee, but it just was never in my nature to be cog in the machine. I just never knew what my business would be.

I had just managed to get a new job doing search engine optimization from home! It was a pretty sweet gig with good pay and I got to set my own hours, but it wasn't enough for me. I still wanted to be my own boss. I tried some of those pyramid type build-a-business things, but those didn't work too well for me either. It wasn't the pyramid part that turned me off. It was the salesman act I had to put on to be any good at it. I felt that if I was going to work that hard to sell someone else's crap, then I might as well be selling my own crap

Now that I was armed with some money from my job, I could by materials and tools for whatever I wanted to do and being a huge nerd for cutlery, I thought about becoming a custom knifemaker. I ran it by my best friend, Virginia, because I always trust her opinion on things. I don't even really remember her responding to what I had said. I just remember her saying, "I want to make wooden dildos." Now, at the time, I didn't know you could do that, so she kindly sent me a few links to some sites and I did my own searching. I'm not sure what it was about it, but I was inspired!

Eager to give it a try, I took some balsa wood I had laying around (which would be horrible for a sex toy by the way) and some branches from a crepe myrtle I'd cut down out of our yard (was horribly overgrown right in front of the house) and just started carving. I found so much peace and happiness in carving these phallic little sculptures, that I'd go on to carve the things you now see on my store.

So thanks Virginia. You are the reason I always have wood in my hand.

Shop members

  • Richard "Dick" Carver


    I've always been an artistically inclined, but it was mostly in 2D until I found that unsatisfying. I desired to create things that someone could experience, use and appreciate. Somehow, that turned into making wooden adult items and I love it!

Shop policies

Last updated on May 10, 2022
Greetings and thank you for visiting Lumberjill Leisurecrafts! This is my little corner of the internet where I design and create one of a kind handmade wooden dildos, plugs and other adult items. While I do try to keep some products stocked, I happily accept custom requests for those with even more particular tastes.

I take a lot of pride and passion in what I do and I do my best to make sure that comes through in everything I make. I don't just try to make a sex toy. I try to create artwork that is full of character, beauty, and functionality.

If you have discerning tastes or something very unique in mind, you have come to the right place. I'd be more than happy to help you create your own personalized pleasure piece and experience.

If you'd like to get to know a bit more about the shop and myself, please check out the links below!

Main Website:
Interview with
Bedpost Podcast:
PlayboyTV's Toyride airing June 10, 2017!:

Accepted payment methods

Paypal Visa Mastercard Discover Apple Pay Klarna Giftcard
Accepts Etsy Gift Cards and Etsy Credits
Returns and exchanges
I don't accept returns, exchanges, or cancellations
But please contact me if you have any problems with your order.
Returns and exchange details
Due to the custom nature of my products, returns and/or refunds cannot be issued. Please feel free to contact me provide me with information about your complaint.

Disclaimer of Liability: You are purchasing this item at your own risk. While great care has been taken to ensure the quality and safety of this item, I cannot be held responsible for any damages caused by this item. Please use as instructed and use responsibly.
Payments may be made with any widely accepted credit card (Visa, Mastercard, etc...) or through Paypal.

Your item will be shipped in 1-3 business days of payment.

If you are ordering a custom piece, terms of the purchase can be discussed in a private manner. Please allow 6-8 weeks for completion and shipping. .

Due to the nature of many of my items, cancellation of an order will not be facilitated. Once payment is made, the item is yours and will be shipped as soon as possible.
Shipping will be done through the United States Postal Service unless the buyer requests otherwise. Standard shipping is free inside of the US. International shipping charges will be added to the grand total of the item.
Additional policies and FAQs
Wooden Dildo FAQ

1. What about splinters?
- I put this one first because it's usually the first thing on everyone's mind so I want to make sure this is perfectly clear. The first person to ever use one of the toys I made was me. I feel like if you're cooking food for someone, you need to taste it yourself because if you wouldn't eat it, you shouldn't serve it to anyone else. If I had gotten a splinter, I wouldn't have even opened this store.

You're not going to get a splinter because I know what I'm doing. I sand the hell out of every piece. By the time i'm done with it, its smoother than a well-lotioned Billy Dee Williams in silk pajamas smoking a cuban cigar between sips of Colt 45 in Cloud City. My benchmark for smoothness wasn't other wood products. It was glazed porcelain and glass. I think I got pretty damn close and if you buy one of my insertables, I'm confident that you would agree!

2. What is the coating on the dildos?
- This one took me a while to figure out, but I decided to go with a food grade oil based non-toxic urethane finish that's commonly use on all kinds of wooden flatware (plates, eating utensils, cutting boards etc...) and even wooden children's toys. It is non-toxic and phthalate free.

I chose this finish for a few reasons, chief among those reason was its non-toxic nature. While a natural finish such as oil or wax would have also been non-toxic, i've seen those types of finishes fail on sextoys again and again. After one or two uses, the toy you spent your hard-earned money on is compromised and unsafe to use, unless you are really anal about reapplying either finish and I didn't want to pass that level of maintenance onto my customers.

While this finish has worked well so far, I don't take it as an excuse to now strive for better. I'm currently exploring other natural and otherwise body-safe materials to seal my wooden insertables with to offer you the greatest level of performance and safety I possibly can.

3. If I see a dildo I like but miss out on buying it, can you make another?
-Yes I can! Now that Lumberjill has been going for nearly 2 1/2 years, I feel that I'm getting a much better idea of what products people are looking for and I'm doing everything in my power to be in a better position to keep up with demand. So if you miss out on something that I've only made one of, chances are I'm probably going to make it again. For the time being, you can also ask about having one made just for you.

4. How do I take care of a wooden dildo?
- Caring for your wooden dildo is actually pretty simple, so don't get scared. I made it easy for ya! Again, the finish I use doesn't need the level of care an oil or wax finish does, so you never have to worry about reapplying. Simply clean with antibacterial soap and warm water and pat dry with a cloth or paper towel. Or let it air dry. Just don't boil it or try to bleach it. I don't think any of those things work too well, but I am still doing some testing!

Every toy comes with custom handmade drawstring bag for storage to further help protect your toy.

Oh and you can use just about any lube you want with it, but I always recommend a water based lube. Every order ships with a free sample of SpunkLube Hybrid lubricant! Check out other products at

Oh and you don't have to memorize this stuff. Your order will come with instruction for how to care for your wooden toy.

5. If I don't like my dildo, can I send it back for a refund?
- First of all, I'm really sorry if what you buy from me just doesn't do it for you. I really tried my best! That said, please don't send it back. Just put it on a bookshelf or use it as a paperweight or something. Because of the custom handmade nature of what I do, it also makes it rather hard on me to issue refunds because of all the time I spend on each piece. Sorry :/