Now objectifying food, so you don't have to.
smallandpissed's Shop Policies
My partner and I got to one of those points a while back, where you good naturedly ask why you are together. It was easy for me to answer, " Because you get my jokes." When everything else in a relationship falls away, what you have left is laughter.
It is central to my being to create joy. My raison d'etre.
Everything in my shop is treated with love in my non-smoking home. Two members of my family are cats. They will not be lying on top of any items while they are listed in my shop. They are very spoiled and have plenty of their own toys, they really have no interest in anything I would sell. However, if you are allergic to cats, you might want to think twice about buying from me.
PAYMENT: Paypal, paypal, paypal! Aren't the Ebay people geniuses? Greatest invention since the interwebs. You pay, and nobody ever has to see your credit card. Awesome. I accept Paypal. If you have a very strong allergy to Paypal, convo me and we'll talk about other payment methods.
SHIPPING: I buy delivery confirmation for all of my domestic packages. I want to know where your package is until you receive it. Insurance is optional and the buyer's responsibility. Just use the button on the Paypal checkout and I'll be happy to buy insurance for your package. I ship items twice a week, Tuesday and Friday, unless you convo me and ask for a specific shipping time.
RECYCLING: My daughter is thoroughly confused by garbage bag commercials on television. " Mommy, why does that lady's garbage stink?" And I have to explain to her that some people put food in their trash cans. She think that's nasty. My weekly garbage can is about the size of the garbage can most people keep under their kitchen sink. I reuse or recycle or compost everything. I am also a cootie freak. How do I resolve this? I keep everything clean. Your item will arrive in a clean, reused box. Some of the packing material will be reused, and clean. I do not use newspaper, because the ink can stain your beautiful items.
A message to international buyers
, or Horror Comics full of Live Bees*
,or International bidders bear all responsibility of any fees that I have no control over , such as: customs ,taxes or any other fees which are out of my control
Look, VAT sucks. I’m sorry. If you’re in the UK, you are gonna eat 17.5% if your package is worth more than £18. If you’ve bought anything from the states before, you know that. If it is over £120 worth of stuff, you are going to pay customs duty. I may suggest that you get items shipped separately in some cases. In which case, place two orders ( use the check out for each item separately ),as I won’t be combining shipping in those cases.
-USPS international First Class Mail is $3.00, like everybody else. I’m losing $3.28 on that, but it’s more convenient for everyone . According to USPS it supposedly takes 6 to 10 business days. It really takes two to eight weeks.
-USPS Priority Mail International Priority is $13.95 and supposedly takes 6 to 10 days.
-I have a moral problem with EMI Express Mail International. You just don’t need it that badly. Sorry. I am not letting you pay $30 so that you can have it in 3 to 5 business days. Take a breath, read a book, knit something.
The dollar sucks, so 18GBP is like a million US dollars. Okay, it hovers around .68GBP to one dollar, or a buck sixty to a pound. I don’t even want to talk about the dollar to euros.
Thanks for your time and thank you for shopping:
*it’s illegal to send either of these things to the UK via post
Refunds and Exchanges
I want you to be happy. If I didn't love what I was selling, I would have never made it, or bought it, to begin with. I want you to love it, too. If you buy something from me, and aren't happy with the whole experience, convo me, and we'll work it out. That said, vintage items are vintage. They've had a life before they ever got to me, there may be scars. I try my best to take revealing photos and to tell you about any boo-boos they've incurred before I adopted them.
Additional Policies and FAQs
Communication is the key. I want this to be a stress free experience for everyone involved. If you aren't happy, convo me. If you feel like the post office is taking a while and want to know if I have fallen and can't get your package to the post office, convo me. If you want me to hold on to an item because you are a genius and have realized that you cannot live without it, but can't pay me for a couple of days without selling a body part, convo me. We can work something out.
Last Updated July 23, 2012