smarmyclothes

handmade clothing, accessories, and sewing patterns

Kalamazoo, Michigan 2886 Sales On Etsy since 2008

5 out of 5 stars (916)

smarmyclothes

handmade clothing, accessories, and sewing patterns

Kalamazoo, Michigan | 2886 Sales

5 out of 5 stars (916)

Shop owner

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2886 Sales
20709 Admirers
 
Lex

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Lex

Announcement    Every piece in my shop is handmade by me!
All clothing and accessories ship in 2-5 business days.
PDF sewing patterns are available for immediate download.

smarm·y (smär'mē)
adj., -i·er, -i·est.
1. unpleasantly and excessively suave or ingratiating in manner or speech. 2. hypocritically, complacently, or effusively earnest; unctuous. 3. of low or sleazy taste 4. handmade dresses, tops, and skirts with bright colors, mutilated t-shirts, polka dots and stripes.

-Lex

http://www.smarmyclothes.com
http://www.whatthecraft.com

Announcement

Last updated on Jun 5, 2018

Every piece in my shop is handmade by me!
All clothing and accessories ship in 2-5 business days.
PDF sewing patterns are available for immediate download.

smarm·y (smär'mē)
adj., -i·er, -i·est.
1. unpleasantly and excessively suave or ingratiating in manner or speech. 2. hypocritically, complacently, or effusively earnest; unctuous. 3. of low or sleazy taste 4. handmade dresses, tops, and skirts with bright colors, mutilated t-shirts, polka dots and stripes.

-Lex

http://www.smarmyclothes.com
http://www.whatthecraft.com

Reviews

Average item review
5 out of 5 stars
(916)
See reviews that mention:
quality 89 shipping 132 customer service 93

About

  • No need to worry... Ghost, the Postmaster General, keeps a wary eye on the comings & goings of the Smarmy shipping dept.
  • Beware the wall of fabric. Avalanches may happen at any time.
  • The sketch...
  • The raw materials...
  • The finished product.

Rad clothing for dudettes who want to stand out in a crowd. Embrace your inner circus freak.

SmarmyClothes is a one woman circus act featuring a kaleidoscope of colors, patterns, and subcultures. Every item is designed and made by me.

I'm pretty much self-taught - by training I'm a nurse. I learned to sew in a middle school "Life Skills" class and from my mom. After learning the basic skills of sewing, it was pretty much just lots of practice from there.

I've been selling my stuff since 2003, and SmarmyClothes.com was established in January of 2005. SmarmyClothes was pretty much a hobby until I finished my bachelor's degree (for Nursing) in December of 2005, when I decided that doing fashion design full time sounded like a grand idea.

I work pretty much 7 days a week and my jerk of a boss (hey wait, that's me!) doesn't give me dick for benefits, but I still wouldn't trade my job as a starving artist for anything. I get to stay up late, sleep in, and work in my PJs.

If you're not sick of me already, you can check out my blog: http://whatthecraft.com
I'm probably posting about food as we speak.

I also sing and play bass in a punk rock band - The Extreme Unicorns.

Thanks to all of you that buy my clothes. If you didn't support SmarmyClothes, I know exactly where I'd be... (two words: stool sample). You guys rock!

Around the web

Website
Blog
Facebook

Shop members

  • Lex

    Owner, Maker, Designer

    Howdy, I'm Lex! When I'm not eating lots of food or making a mess, I juggle the designing, pattern making, sewing, photographing, web design, and everything else in between here at SmarmyClothes.

Shop policies

Last updated on June 5, 2018
SmarmyClothes is a one woman circus act. I make custom and one-of-a-kind clothing and accessories with a squirt of subculture jawesomeness!

Accepted payment methods

Accepts Etsy Gift Cards and Etsy Credits
Returns and exchanges
I gladly accept returns
Contact me within: 14 days of delivery
Ship items back within: 30 days of delivery
I don't accept exchanges or cancellations
But please contact me if you have any problems with your order.
The following items can't be returned or exchanged
Because of the nature of these items, unless they arrive damaged or defective, I can't accept returns for:
  • Custom or personalized orders
  • Perishable products (like food or flowers)
  • Digital downloads
  • Intimate items (for health/hygiene reasons)
Returns and exchange details
All of my items are handmade with care and described as thoroughly as possible.
I have the utmost confidence that you will be 100% satisfied with your item.

If you have a problem with your item or think I've made a mistake, please email me with your concerns within 14 days of receiving your order. I do accept returns as long as the order is unworn/unwashed/undamaged.

Rush fees are non-refundable.

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SEWING PATTERNS: Due to the nature of downloadable patterns and templates, all sales are final. Patterns may not be refunded or exchanged.

Please please PLEASE make sure to save a copy of your patterns and templates to an external hard drive or cloud drive. You could even just email the pattern to yourself as an attachment. That way, in the event of a computer virus, crash, etc, you will always have a safe copy of your patterns.

In the event that you lose the pattern and do not have a back-up, please contact me, and I should be able to send you a new copy. I will do this once- and only once. So let me reiterate the importance of backing up your pattern files!
Payment
Please note: If you are outside the US, your country may charge an import tax/customs fee (e.g. VAT fees for those in the EU). It is your responsibility to pay these fees, so I suggest you research the policies for your country before ordering.
Shipping
Please note the current turnaround time before ordering! Please contact me BEFORE ORDERING if you have questions or need your order by a certain date.

Most sewing patterns are available for immediate download after purchase- you should receive an email from Etsy notifying you that your files is available for download.

Sewing patterns that are not listed as instant download will be emailed to your Paypal address 12-48 hours after payment is received.

IF YOU ARE IN THE US: Most items are automatically shipped Priority (2-3 days), but I am more than happy to ship First Class, just contact me before paying.

IF YOU ARE OUTSIDE OF THE US: Items are shipped via First Class International by default. FCI generally takes 1-2 weeks, but sometimes takes much longer. Please contact me for Priority Shipping information if you need your order by a certain date.

If you would like to purchase insurance for your order, please let me know before you pay!
INTERNATIONAL INSURANCE IS AVAILABLE!
Additional policies and FAQs
GARMENT CARE: I recommend hand washing and laying flat to dry, unless I've included a care card that says otherwise. This will ensure the longest, happiest life of your Smarment.

I use a lot of specialty fabrics and delicate trims (not to mention the hook and eyes and things that will snag), and they really needed to be treated gently. Even the "gentle" cycle on the machine is not recommended.

If you insist of machine washing (at your own risk!), I recommend putting the item inside a sweater bag or pillowcase first.

I can not stress enough how important it is to measure either yourself or a clothing item that fits you well before ordering.

For more information on how to measure yourself, please see: http://smarmyclothes.com/sizing/