snarkycards

Snarky Cards: The kinder, gentler brutal honesty

Washington, United States · 1854 Sales

snarkycards

Snarky Cards: The kinder, gentler brutal honesty

Washington, United States 1854 Sales On Etsy since 2007

4.5 out of 5 stars
(551)

Announcement   My name is Alisa Starr. I make Snarky Cards. I've made and sold 70,319 cards in the last 8 years. I sell them to stores, online and in bars, from a box that hangs beneath my boobs. Like a cigarette girl. You can buy my cards in any one of the 25 stores that carry them. Or, from me, in person, in Seattle. I mostly sell on Capitol Hill. Check out my website www.superalisa.com to find a store near you, or to read more of my writing.
Love,
Alisa
PS I like to do special projects. I can paint or type you something special if you want me to!

Announcement
Last updated on Mar 15, 2016

My name is Alisa Starr. I make Snarky Cards. I've made and sold 70,319 cards in the last 8 years. I sell them to stores, online and in bars, from a box that hangs beneath my boobs. Like a cigarette girl. You can buy my cards in any one of the 25 stores that carry them. Or, from me, in person, in Seattle. I mostly sell on Capitol Hill. Check out my website www.superalisa.com to find a store near you, or to read more of my writing.
Love,
Alisa
PS I like to do special projects. I can paint or type you something special if you want me to!

Alisa Starr

Contact shop owner

Alisa Starr

Not Korean
US$6.00
I'm Mexican
US$6.00
I'm super sorry
US$6.00
Tight enough to overlook some stuff
US$6.00
I wish you were cooler
US$6.00
Get Stoned
US$6.00
I'm Sorry
US$6.00
Not Japanese
US$6.00
Shut up for 12 hours
US$6.00
Have Some Chocolate
US$6.00
Better About Myself
US$6.00
Non Breeder
US$6.00
Your black Friend
US$6.00
Boy Humper
US$6.00
Happy Abortion
US$6.00
You Freaky Spazz
US$6.00
Vagina Hurts
US$6.00
Hero
US$6.00
Knocked up
US$6.00
Black Lives Hella Matter
US$6.00
Believe
US$6.00
Its not you, its me
US$6.00
Black Lives Matter: Smell Racism
US$6.00
Which is a lot
US$6.00
View all 253 items

Reviews

Average item review
4.5 out of 5 stars
(551)
susierosen

susierosen on May 17, 2016

2 out of 5 stars

Item not as described. Pictures in listings don't match pictures received. Not individually hand painted (as they once were) but rather prints. Seller blamed her etsy shop for "f*cking up her hands," thus leading to the dramatic change in quality. Maybe time to sell snarky cards to hallmark and invest in physical therapy? Still very funny. Shipping time was very good.

susierosen

susierosen on May 17, 2016

2 out of 5 stars

Item not as described. Pictures in listings don't match pictures received. Not individually hand painted (as they once were) but rather prints. Seller blamed her etsy shop for "f*cking up her hands," thus leading to the dramatic change in quality. Maybe time to sell snarky cards to hallmark and invest in physical therapy? Still very funny. Shipping time was very good.

susierosen

susierosen on May 17, 2016

2 out of 5 stars

Item not as described. Pictures in listings don't match pictures received. Not individually hand painted (as they once were) but rather prints. Seller blamed her etsy shop for "f*cking up her hands," thus leading to the dramatic change in quality. Maybe time to sell snarky cards to hallmark and invest in physical therapy? Still very funny. Shipping time was very good.

susierosen

susierosen on May 17, 2016

2 out of 5 stars

Item not as described. Pictures in listings don't match pictures received. Not individually hand painted (as they once were) but rather prints. Seller blamed her etsy shop for "f*cking up her hands," thus leading to the dramatic change in quality. Maybe time to sell snarky cards to hallmark and invest in physical therapy? Still very funny. Shipping time was very good.

susierosen

susierosen on May 17, 2016

2 out of 5 stars

Item not as described. Not individually hand painted (as they once were) but rather prints. Seller blamed her etsy shop for "f*cking up her hands," thus leading to the dramatic change in quality. Maybe time to sell snarky cards to hallmark and invest in physical therapy? Still very funny. Shipping time was very good.

susierosen

susierosen on May 17, 2016

2 out of 5 stars

Item not as described. Pictures in listings don't match pictures received. Not individually hand painted (as they once were) but rather prints. Seller blamed her etsy shop for "f*cking up her hands," thus leading to the dramatic change in quality. Maybe time to sell snarky cards to hallmark and invest in physical therapy? Still very funny. Shipping time was very good.

susierosen

susierosen on May 17, 2016

2 out of 5 stars

Item not as described. Pictures in listings don't match pictures received. Not individually hand painted (as they once were) but rather prints. Seller blamed her etsy shop for "f*cking up her hands," thus leading to the dramatic change in quality. Maybe time to sell snarky cards to hallmark and invest in physical therapy? Still very funny. Shipping time was very good.

Em Anderson

Em Anderson on Apr 12, 2016

3 out of 5 stars

Straight to the hate fucking.

Em Anderson

Em Anderson on Apr 12, 2016

3 out of 5 stars

Love these cards, same message as ordered but don't expect the same exact painting as the one listed

Cindylee

Cindylee on Feb 17, 2016

2 out of 5 stars

Ordered these for Valentines day on Feb 2nd and they still aren't here yet. So for that alone i'm pretty disappointed. I did contact seller before I bought them to see if they'd be here in time and she replied back that usps said they'd get here anywhere between 2 - 7 days, so I ordered them. They weren't even mailed out within the first week. So 15 days later...i'm still waiting. Just glad I bought cards for other people from a different vender that same day, arrived before this vender even mailed mine out. Cards may be great once they arrive but I wouldn't have ordered them if I had known they wouldn't get here in time.

View all 551 reviews

Updates

This is me presenting my newest painting print

Tagged in this photo

Really Fn Nice
US$20.00

About

Super Alisa and Snarky Cards

Once upon a time, I worked for an artist. And we were going to make Greeting Cards. So, I wrote about 30 of them. And then my boss stopped taking her medication. And I had to get a real job.

Four years later, I needed a birthday present for my sister. So, I painted some postcards and typed those cards out with my typewriter.
Joy called me and told me "These are awesome! You should sell them!"
I was getting tired of the endless parade of office jobs I'd walked in and out of by then. So, I decided to start making them for a living.

It was hard. When I started, they were $1. And it took me 45 minutes to make each card. Thankfully, my friends and family all helped. I accepted food donations. And I raised my prices to $2 each. And I got a little faster at making them. And people started buying them, collecting them, and giving them to their friends, lovers and family.

Over the last five years, I've made and sold 59,421 cards. I've done business with over 50 different stores, in 5 different states. And I've written over 3,000 different cards. 1200 of which sell very well.
And I've become welcome in lots of lovely bars. People have called me a fixture in Oakland, San Francisco, Portland and Seattle.

Married couples tell me I helped them hook up.

Single girls tell me "He gave me one of your cards after our second date. And he gave me cards when I moved in. And after we'd have a fight. And then I gave him a Snarky Card to dump him. And my best friend gave me a card to comfort me, after we'd broken up."

My cards have helped people through their divorces, break-ups, best friendships, hook-ups, fights, make-ups, new baby's drinking problems and all kinds of creepy shades of love.

I'm glad that I get to help people say what they mean to each other. I hope I get to keep doing that. Until the entire world just says what they mean, all the fucking time.
Mewahahahahaha!!!
(Evil Laugh)
Love,
Alisa

Tweet
Shop members
  • Alisa Starr

    Owner, Maker, Designer, Princess Of Snarky Cards! I Make 'em, And Sell Them In Bars From A Box That Hangs Beneath My Boobs

    I'm 33. I've been making and selling Snarky Cards for 5 years. I have sold 50,495 cards so far. I love that being a loud-mouthed bitch who can identify stranger's problems, and get people to tell her sexy stories is an asset.

  • Alisa Starr

    Owner, Maker, Designer, Curator, Art Prostitute

    I sell my cards in bars, from a box that hangs beneath my boobs. This is me, workin' it in The Unicorn bathroom!

Manufacturers
  • Tabs To Go

    Seattle, WA, United States

    Dan is a local printer who works with other artists and venues. He worked hard to find the good paper, cardstock which will retain the image, but wouldn't stick together, and would hold up to being typewritten on. I think of him as my collaborator.

Shop policies

Last updated on May 5, 2016
Start off selling Snarky Cards in your store/s with the Snarky Card Starter pack. It includes 50 best-selling Snarky Cards, and a custom Snarky Card Display box for each new store, which makes for easy riffling.

Your first order needs to be big, so you have a complete collection to start with. After the 10th card, or the 10th laugh, they feel obligated to buy. And you and your employees get to enjoy the 10 minutes of laughter you get before they start making their "to buy" pile.

You can beef up your stock with the 10 packs from each section. Or, you can choose individual cards for your store, if you'd like. Most store owners don't have the time. And, I'm happy to fulfill a random assortment request of 10-25 cards. I'll always send you Snarky Cards with a good sales record. And I'm happy to cater to your customer base.

If the stock you've got isn't selling, I'm happy to swap it out for you, for Snarky Cards that WILL sell.

I'll work hard to make sure Snarky Cards keep your customers laughing and increase your bottom line.

Accepted payment methods

  • Accepts Etsy gift cards
Payment
For the first order, I need payment up front. After that, I'm happy to adhere to your shop's payment policy/method for vendors, whatever that is.

I accept credit cards,paypal and checks.
Shipping
I use USPS with tracking.
Refunds and Exchanges
You're allowed to return cards once it's clear they're not gonna sell in your shop. Often, there are left over Holiday Cards or sometimes, your customers have a preference, like Tender Loving Empire can't sell any cards with the word cock in them. The other sexually graphic cards are fine, but no cock.

Once we figured that out, they traded out the cock cards for other stuff that WAS selling.

If a card has a typo I'm happy to take it back. But outside of that, I don't accept damaged merchandise.

I don't give refunds, I'm happy to do trades-outs.
Additional policies and FAQs
I will try my best to find some great Snarky Cards for your store!
Even if it means we're trading stuff out a lot.

I do not do a lot of consignment. And I'm hesitant to do consignment with a store that I haven't been physically in, or with a person I haven't physically met.

The few stores I do business with who have consignment policies pay me regularly, on the same day, every month. If you can promise me that, I'd be open to talking about consignment with your store.