Steotch Fine Needleart

Durham, North Carolina · 4259 Sales


Steotch Fine Needleart

Durham, North Carolina 4259 Sales On Etsy since 2010

5 out of 5 stars

Shop owner



Announcement   All the dankest cross stitch! Find our whole portfolio at Sorry, no custom orders.


Last updated on Nov 20, 2015

All the dankest cross stitch! Find our whole portfolio at Sorry, no custom orders.


Contact shop owner


Hail Mary - Instant Pattern
Mawwiage - Customizable Instant Pattern
Lemon Party - Instant Pattern
PDF Pattern: One Man's Trash
Morningwood Commode (PDF Pattern)
Herd U Like Samplers - PATTERN
Judgment Day - Instant Pattern
Sampler from Dimension 35C - Instant Pattern
Cross AF Stitch - DIYO KIT
Kiss the Cook: Instant Pattern
America Supreme - DIYO Kit
Blank Bottle Apron - Dark Green & White
A Traditional Prayer - Instant Pattern
Delete Your Account - Instant Pattern
Colonial Brick Home - PATTERN
Judgement Day - DIYO KIT
Family Love Sampler - DIYO KIT
A Traditional Prayer - DIYO Kit
Think About Fun - PATTERN
Rock Out With Your Hen Out
Boombadoomboombroidery PATTERN
Smell You Later - Instant Pattern
Not Easy - Instant Pattern
Have a Nooice Day
View all 115 items


Average item review
5 out of 5 stars

PureGuava on Feb 14, 2017

5 out of 5 stars

This was a great pattern for a beginner. Very easy to follow, and with an injection of humour. THANK YOU!

Alicia Grinnell

Alicia Grinnell on Feb 8, 2017

5 out of 5 stars

so good I bought it again

View all 924 reviews


Patient zero in the coming zombie cross stitch apocalypse

You can view our entire portfolio at

Read our interview with CRAFT here:

If you Google Image search the phrase "Dorky White People" we're pretty much the first picture that comes up.

Our samplers have been featured on the front page of many of the web's finest establishments, including BoingBoing, Neatorama, Mashable, Regretsy, the Huffington Post, and the Official Star Wars Blog.


Shop members

  • Emily & Matt Fitzpatrick

    Owner, Maker, Designer, Curator

    Emily first learned needlework from her grandmother at a young age, but began Steotch as a distraction from battling cancer (she won). Matt farts around on the web and yells out jokes. They're basically like the Jay-Z and Beyonce of novelty crafts.

Shop policies

Last updated on November 2, 2015
Thanks for visiting Steotch, the Internet's Dankest Cross Stitch

Accepted payment methods

  • Pay with Visa
  • Pay with Master Card
  • Pay with American Express
  • Pay with Discover
  • Pay with PayPal
  • Buy with Apple Pay
  • Pay with Sofort
  • Pay with iDeal
  • Accepts Etsy gift cards
We accept direct Etsy payments as well as PayPal.
All of our physical items are shipped within 2 business days after purchase. Finished samplers and kits will ship USPS Priority to USA destinations, and include insurance and delivery confirmation free of charge. Orders outside the USA will ship International First Class (no insurance or delivery confirmation/tracking). Bottle Aprons will ship with the USPS and are priced based on your zip code. To our International friends: if you don't see your country included on the listing of an item you are considering, drop us a note, and we'll figure out the deets.

Our products are packaged with great care (using environmentally-sustainable or recycled materials), so that they arrive at your home as fine as they are today.