Etsy Success Need some help with verbage...

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Original Post

I want to convey that our shave brush are of excellent quality as opposed to those the come free with purchase or the drug store variety. But I don't want to insult people by saying "you get what you pay for", or the differences are similar to the difference between a Dodge Dart and a Land Rover without sounding like a weeny.

I've been running this around in my head for days. Could you help me re-frame the description without being a weeny? Or, am I weeny....??

Thanks for your input in advance, yours, Kristin

Posted at 1:41 pm Jun 27, 2012 EDT


Ms. D. says

Well...what DOES make your brush better?

What are the bristles made out of? Why is this material better than what you can buy at the drugstore?
What is the handle made out of? If wood, is it hand-carved?

Posted at 1:44 pm Jun 27, 2012 EDT

My dad loves quality shave brushes. He loves finding different handles. He looks for bristle load that is not synthetic, and that are made with badger hair.

I think you should shorten the description a little bit. Just get to the specifics.

Posted at 1:49 pm Jun 27, 2012 EDT

I'd stay away from car comparisons - I have no idea what a Dodge Dart is or if it would be better or worse than a Land Rover, and I'm probably not the only one. I think that your best bet would probably be to compare your brushes to synthetic fiber ones directly. Something like, "Unlike the synthetic bristle shaving brushes you find in drug stores, our natural bristle brushes...."

Posted at 2:24 pm Jun 27, 2012 EDT

Kristy says

I clicked on your first featured brush and this jumped out:

"We have paired this superlative brush with an intricately turned handle to create as near a perfect shave brush"

Why not just say perfect?

"We paired this superlative brush with an intricately turned handle to create a perfect shave brush"

Sounds better IMHO. I also took out the word "have".

Writing for the web, with less words, is something I struggle with too.

Posted at 2:40 pm Jun 27, 2012 EDT

Natural, handcrafted, quality......any of these descriptive words convey superiority of your brushes over cheap drugstore versions any-day!

Posted at 2:47 pm Jun 27, 2012 EDT

Thank you all! Excellent suggestions! Sorry the car analogy was my hope to explain it better - hence my The dodge dart was from the 70's and they are out of business yikes my age showing.

And you are right no need for "near" , I must get out of self-effacing mode without entering weeny world.

Less words....urgh. always tweeking. Thank you again, I appreciate the extra sets of eyes. K

Posted at 3:28 pm Jun 27, 2012 EDT

This is kind of off topic but your brushes are beautiful! Have you thought about adding makeup brushes?

Posted at 3:37 pm Jun 27, 2012 EDT

@ Nicolette, yes but have been having trouble finding a supplier. One retailer in the US offers them but they are cost prohibative. Still looking so if you know someone - I would be glad to hear :)

The badger brushes we use are from a collective in China where Badgers are pests and destroy crops for the farmer. They can get rid of the badger and make some extra $ which they really need.

I worked for Shiseido for a while in retail and their brushes were just divine and where priced accordingly - lol. Thanks for helping me organize my thoughts! xK

Posted at 10:20 pm Jun 27, 2012 EDT

What lovely brushes!

Maybe just give a short argument for your product. Explain that badger hair holds more water than synthetic and other benefits of of your products. If you have a blog you could make a page dedicated to the wonders of your products. Then put the link in your listings.

I have a similar issue since I work with leather and I feel the need to educate my market about the values of leather over 'vegan' or plastic.

Posted at 11:35 pm Jun 27, 2012 EDT

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