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At Swan Mountain Soaps, we know how frustrating it is when, right in the middle of War or an episode of Firefly, you have to stop and scratch your dry, itchy skin.

We could recommend that you drink more water and less Mountain Dew, or that you get up from the computer and exercise more and eat a healthy diet (um, that doesn't include pizza and Mike & Ikes).

OK, stop laughing or you are going to snort that Mountain Dew through your nose. Again.

We know the time eventually comes when every geek must break down and use a hygeine product. So we made a lotion as smart as you are. No girlie perfumes, no waxy gook, no fillers, and no questionable chemicals. As a matter of fact, this lotion is so smart it doesn't have to smell pretty. We know your skin is delicate and fragile from all those hours spent indoors, so we made you something that will go on easy and sink right in.

Nobody will know but you. It's OK.

If it makes you feel any better, even Fezzik uses our Geek Lotion. Miracle Max carries it in his apothecary shop.

*Each bottle holds approximately 4.25 ounces.

Geek Lotion - because eventually geeks have to take their hand off the the mouse to scratch their itchy skin


  • Materials: distilled water, avocado oil, behentrimonium methosulfate and cetearyl alcohol, phenoxyethanol and caprylyl glycol
  • Ships worldwide from United States
  • Feedback: 3157 reviews