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Don't leave it too late to help a friend or family member facing terminal illness
An End Of Life Journal To Record Memories And Wishes
Comfort For Those Nearing Death And Their Dear Ones
NEARING THE END OF LIFE
If you’re getting older, like me, you may already have suffered a bereavement or know someone who has. When someone has lived a long and full life and has all their affairs in order, it makes it somewhat easier for those left behind. But that doesn’t always happen. If you have responsibility for someone whose affairs are NOT all ordered, you may find this End Of Life journal very useful.
AN UNEXPECTED VISITOR
Some months ago, a friend who occasionally couch surfed at our house, turned up and asked if he could stay a while as he was taking strong medication and could not take care of himself. We knew he did not get on with his family, so made him as comfortable as possible. It soon became clear that his illness was terminal and he did not have long to live. In fact, at his last hospital appointment the doctor gave him between 1 and 4 weeks to live, at maximum 8 weeks. He lasted just over 5 weeks. His illness meant he was too ill to talk to official bodies by phone or to go to their offices and he really needed someone to help him with his affairs. He had made no will but was worried about being able to pay for his funeral and having a little left over for his son. He was also in denial about his illness being terminal. I could not find a booklet ready made, so I created one with what I thought would be the things he would want to cover. I printed it out and just left it sitting but it wasn’t until he had an illness “scare” that he realised he needed to get “something down in writing” if he wanted his wishes carried out. At that point, he could no longer write for himself, so I wrote for him. I found it really useful to have questions available that I could read out to him, so I didn’t have to think what to ask while also listening to him and writing.
ALL THE INFORMATION IN ONE PLACE
The booklet was useful for listing his medications and important phone numbers in one place and for him to add comments like “I owe Joe some money” or “my motorbike is at Joe’s shed”. I added pages to it for “memories”, “photographs” and other items. He wanted to make a will. I was worried about that because I am not legally trained but it comforted him to have it written down, signed and properly witnessed. If there had been time, we would have got a solicitor to draw up a legal will based on his wishes but in the end, the handwritten one was the only will he made and as it was a simple one, it will probably be valid.
I am so glad we got the opportunity to help him in his last days and the “End Of Life” journal was a great help with this.
YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN ...
Until this friend turned up at our door one day, I had not really given thought to what might be needed at the end of life, apart from having made a will. I knew that there was music I would like played and I even had a piece of writing I wanted read out but death was a long way away at that time and I don’t even know where that list is now. It didn’t come back to mind until death sort of walked in at our door a few weeks ago and sat down waiting until our friend was ready to accompany him. Maybe a bit strange to say that but if you have a friend or relative with a terminal illness, maybe you will know what I mean.
He had friends who didn’t think he was really dying. He had relatives who didn’t believe it either and he had a son he didn’t want to have told about his illness. His own father had died only a few weeks earlier, though he was in his 90s, and he had not told his father that he would see him soon, though he possibly also didn’t believe it himself at that time. And most of all, he was homeless. He had been living in his car for the past 10 years, couch surfing round friends’ houses.
A JOURNAL MADE THE DIFFERENCE
It was at that point, I knew we needed an end of life journal to record what was important. He had no will, no idea of what funeral he would like, lots of medication that needed to be taken at different times and his brain was becoming foggy with the illness and the strong drugs he was on until the medical people told him that they could no longer do anything for him and took him off the heavy-duty drugs and prescribed pain-killers instead. He also had a lot of bureaucracy to deal with, different people, different phone numbers. It needed to be in one place for any emergencies and for the end.
As a carer who was suddenly responsible for someone whose affairs were chaotic, I created this journal as a way of getting him to talk about what he wanted done. I was not able to find anything already available that allowed me to talk to someone who was terminally ill and that would allow me to record what he was saying, so I created the original version of this journal. At first, he denied he was dying but after an incident where he collapsed he was suddenly ready to talk and I was glad I had this journal ready to prompt him to cover the important things. Later, when my friend had scary events happen due to the illness or when he was planning things that just could not happen, either because of the timescale or because of his weakness, I used the journal to help get him talking about similar events or times to record memories that could be passed on to family members.
ARE YOU READY?
If you have a friend or relative who is terminally ill:
* Do you want to panic to find important phone numbers in an emergency?
* Do you want to try to arrange a funeral when you don’t know what their funeral wishes are?
* Do you want to try to contact people AFTER the person has died?
* Do you want to know what to do with left over items?
* Do you want your friend / relative to die without making a will (intestate)? This can cause problems with years of legal wrangling.
* Do you want to struggle to remember which medications have been taken when?
LISTEN AND RECORD
Instead of just listening to your family member or friend’s memories from long ago or their mentions of funeral wishes that may end up not being carried out, you can now record them (or let them record them) in a precious End Of Life memory journal.
This journal could end up as a priceless treasure for family members too young or too distant to be able to spend time with their dying relative. I created it for a dying friend with no close family nearby. It gave him comfort in his last days, acted as a guide for carrying out his funeral wishes and even as an unofficial will for disposing of his few assets. It also ended up recording information that may be useful to his family in the days and months after his funeral.
I have never seen anything similar that can act as a single repository of information, memories and wishes for a dying person and that can be handed down to family as a loving memorial for generations to come. Buy now before it's too late to record those last wishes.
WHO KNOWS WHEN?
The end of life can come a lot sooner than many people expect. My friend’s other friends all thought he looked too healthy - he couldn’t be dying! When it came very near the end and they could all see how ill he was, it was too late to record any memories or wishes. He had to go into a hospice and soon became unable to respond. Those who may not be ill can also record their thoughts and wishes for the future and keep the journal as their own memorial, rather than having their wishes locked away where they may not be found until too late (maybe for a particular style of funeral or music they would like played, for instance).
If you have a terminally ill friend or relative who has not recorded their last wishes, thought and hopes, buy this journal now and allow them to make a last record, before it is too late.
HOW THIS DOCUMENT CAME ABOUT
I had never thought about what might be needed to look after a dying person until it was literally thrust into my hands. He had a lot of papers with him, including bank statements, hospital letters and letters from various official bodies. I found him a folder to keep them but it was difficult to sort through if something was needed.
I had heard of living wills where a person says what they want to happen near the end, eg, “do not resuscitate” but I have never seen, nor have I since found a document that can be filled in either by the person themselves or on their behalf where everything they want known can be recorded, including a last confession, if necessary, their funeral wishes, their medications and anything they feel they have left undone.
I wanted the document to be tasteful, not garish, easy to read and complete and to include questions that might be considered important to answer. I used experience with my friend and feedback from people who looked at the pilot journal to make changes to the original and to make the end of life journal even more useful.
● Keep the person’s important information close at hand in one place
● Use blank pages to record information on areas not covered
● Record their wishes for their funeral
● Record where their will is kept (if they have one) and where the house keys are, the vehicle documentation and how to open the filing cabinet or safe!
WHAT IT INCLUDES
The journal is A4 in size (210 × 297 millimeters or 8.27 × 11.69 inches.) and includes 24 separate pages including funeral wishes, will wishes (this should be checked and rewritten by a legal professional), important information about possessions and every page includes useful questions for prompting memories or things to remember. There is an additional bonus document (12 pages) included in the download, which is for doodling or writing random memories. These could also be used for writing down memories of past times for family and friends to recall.
You can print out the journal or individual pages as often as you like (for your own use) to make a journal that is tailored to the individual.
This journal is delivered as an instant download, together with the bonus download of extra doodle and writing pages. These have been kept separate as they are not appropriate for everyone.
I am so sure that you will be thrilled with this product, that I have a super simple refund policy. I take all the risk from you and put it all on ME ALONE! I give an Iron Clad “No Questions Asked” Full Protection Guarantee for 60 days to look over and enjoy this End Of Life journal. If for any reason you are not absolutely thrilled with your purchase, I will refund you in full, so you are not out 1 single penny!
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Do you want to continue to struggle and juggle remembering your patient’s wishes, medications, important numbers as well as caring for them and their needs? Build a journal now and have all the information easily available.
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