How come parents never understand?
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Original Post
My mums been nagging at me today to get a full time job.
Problem is we live in a tiny village with the worst bus route ever! 1st one out is half 8, last one back is half 4. That only takes me into town where theres never any jobs going.
so the next place to go to is York which by car is about a 30min drive max depending on traffic.
I did have a job in York but i had to get on my bike at 7:30, cycle to the very end of a long long road out of my village to get on a different bus into town then from town get a 2nd bus. That was to get to work at 10AM!! It'd be the same route back home leaving work at 4:30 and not getting home til 7pm. Which is absolutly rubbish since my days were generally just 6 hour days.
So i quit that job. I've been jobless for a month and now someone at my old job before the one in york is leaving. The shopping centre is just a few miles out of York but it opens at 10am which means i can get on 8:30 bus which is much easier.
I'm considering myself lucky to get a job offer at my old place! There isnt many job going so to get a job without having to go through the horrors of interviews is damn good!
But this isnt good enough for my parents!! grrr!! If they fancy buying me a car, paying for lessons at £40 a time and also my test then they can but until i have a car a proper full time job is out of retail is out of the question. I can fit retail hours to suit me. An office job 9-5:30 in York wont fit with my buses. They'll just accept the next candidate that can do the hours they want.
All in all i wish they'd just stop nagging me as it really doesnt help! :(
sorry for the long post, i really needed to vent!
Posted at 8:42am Jun 14, 2008 EDT
Responses
I want to move out! I REALLY REALLY want to move out but i cant afford to do it on my own on a part time wage, not even to the crummiest drup around! I dont want to move out with no money in the bank and living from wage to wage hopeing to make ends meet on my own
Posted at 12:09pm Jun 14, 2008 EDT
Dump the boy, take the long commute job, save your money, and then move closer to the city. Have you any idea how much it costs to own and run a car in the UK at your age? The insurance and road tax alone would wipe you out.
Go speak to the job center and get help with them. They also have career centers to help young people get back into education or jobs, or whatever you need. The help is out there if you want it. Don't stay at home and expect it all to happen by magic.
Posted at 12:10pm Jun 14, 2008 EDT
Everyone lives paycheck to paycheck at one time or another. Starting out living paycheck to paycheck is pretty much normal. Beggars can't be choosers. Either deal with the long commute or do something to get yourself in a better position to not have to deal with the long commute.
You're very lucky to be able to live at home and not pay any rent. At your age, I was living on my own, working 2 jobs, just to make ends meet.
Posted at 12:13pm Jun 14, 2008 EDT
If you live under your parents roof, you do what your parents ask. Them expeting you to have a job s not unreasonable. It is not thier responcibility to look after you for the rest of your life.
Youre an adult, you ought to be buying your own car and paying for your own driving lessons etc.
Right now you have a very easy ride, moving out would be a lot more difficult.
I am just a couple of years older than you, and I am constantly shocked by people in my age range who feel as you do.
Posted at 12:13pm Jun 14, 2008 EDT
Parents can understand without agreeing.
My parents never understood nor agreed. They never showed much interest until I was 18, then they stepped in to deal with the screw up child.
Escape was my only way. My mother kept thinking of ways it would not work. I had to stop hearing her. She needed me to fail becuase she needed me to need her.
I am 47 now and she is still waiting for me to need her. She imagines these problems that I really don't have and then calls me to tell me how to solve them.
You have to write your own script.
Posted at 12:16pm Jun 14, 2008 EDT
I am NOT dumping the boy. He's the best thing thats ever happened to me and i love him more than anything else. But i do think think your right about moving out regardless. the cheapest flat i can in town at the moment is £425 a month. Iv texted my old boss to ask the date the job starts and the hours i'll have approx so i can work out if i can afford it. I have the feeling though that if i go and move out on my own. it wouldnt be long before my bf moved in with me.
I dont have a clue what bills are like in a small flat though and id need £80 a month put aside for buses to work
Posted at 12:16pm Jun 14, 2008 EDT
job starts in begining of july and she'll let me know about hours tomo.
Posted at 12:17pm Jun 14, 2008 EDT
$900 a month? I'm not moving to england.
PS: I worked 24 hours a day when I was your age, 9 days per week! and I never complained!
Posted at 12:19pm Jun 14, 2008 EDT
yup thats the cheapest! unless i want to rent out a shop front and live in that! Its expensive over here which is why im worried about living alone. It's a cute flat though that iv found. I'd have to find out how short a short term lease is.
this one:http://www.rightmove.co.uk/viewdetails-20862599.rsp?pa_n=1&tr_t=rent
or this one:http://www.rightmove.co.uk/viewdetails-21554816.rsp?pa_n=1&tr_t=rent
Posted at 12:22pm Jun 14, 2008 EDT
Casso, that is CHEAP.
I also commuted 3 hours a day when I was 16 to go to the college I wanted and then came home and went to my evening job. I was ded tired all the time but it got me where I wanted in life.
Posted at 12:24pm Jun 14, 2008 EDT