PANIC NOW STICKER 3-PACK

4"x 5" heavy duty vinyl stickers

• One for sticking
• One for sharing
• One for saving

You asked for it. You got it.

New, Full-Potency PANIC NOW Stickers from Gross National

Manufactured from the very finest all-weather vinyl sheeting and toxic petroleum-based inks right here in the Homeland, so that your condo, office, boat, or personal device will smell fresh as a Firestone showroom, back when America was great.

Since 2000, “folks” have considered stickers to be “fun” and a perfectly acceptable means of self-expression, derivation of meaning, and urgent buoyancy of Spirit. Ask anyone. Panic Now stickers are balsam as fuck, and a value at any price. But don’t take our word for it. Just peel one and stick it somewhere—public OR private—and you’ll see what we mean. These new improved honeys are guaranteed to be twice the size and tensile strength of previous pathetic models. More than large enough for: dramatic forehead-smiting, hostile back-slapping, or pasting completely over a certain average-size human face should it be to your disliking. Tough times call for drastic measures, probably. These new load-bearing rectangles are sturdy and generously proportioned so that People can: mend what is broken, seal what is ruptured, restore what is mangled, mutilated, destroyed, defiled. Stickers make it all possible!

The sun’ll come out tomorrow. But in the meantime, PANIC NOW.™