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as you age, you may notice new aches and pains // funny birthday card, snarky greeting card for friend or family, sarcastic card

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Price:$4.95

FoulMouthBetty  
5 out of 5 stars
Arrives soon! Get it by Nov 14-17 if you order today
Nov 14-17

Returns & exchanges accepted

You can only make an offer when buying a single item

Star Seller. This seller consistently earned 5-star reviews, shipped on time, and replied quickly to any messages they received.

Buy together, get 20% off

May include: A humorous birthday card with a black and white illustration of a woman wearing a headband and a sparkly dress. The text on the card reads: "As you age, you may notice new aches and pains. Your brain may become fuzzy. Your digestive system a rebellious mess. That's totally normal. Your body is simply breaking down. Returning to the Earth, so to speak. Let's call it a slow decomposition. Again, totally normal, and definitely not something you should dwell on at your birthday party. Anyway, who's ready for cake?" This listing

as you age, you may notice new aches and pains // funny birthday card, snarky greeting card for friend or family, sarcastic card

Sale Price $3.96

Original Price $4.95

20% off "buy together" offer
May include: A black and white printable card with a humorous quote about aging. The quote reads: "Though your body is starting to fail you as you get older, you should know that we can barely tell. I mean, we can definitely tell. But barely."

though your body is starting to fail you // unique birthday card, snarky humor, sarcastic cards, funny card for sister or friend

Sale Price $3.96

Original Price $4.95

20% off "buy together" offer
May include: A humorous birthday card with a silver cake and candles. The text reads "Today we eat cake to celebrate your AGING BODY and DETERIORATING MIND."

celebrate your aging body and deteriorating mind // humorous card, funny birthday card, sarcastic cards, unique card for family or friend

Sale Price $3.96

Original Price $4.95

20% off "buy together" offer
May include: A humorous birthday card with a black and white illustration of a woman wearing a headband and a sparkly dress. The text on the card reads: "As you age, you may notice new aches and pains. Your brain may become fuzzy. Your digestive system a rebellious mess. That's totally normal. Your body is simply breaking down. Returning to the Earth, so to speak. Let's call it a slow decomposition. Again, totally normal, and definitely not something you should dwell on at your birthday party. Anyway, who's ready for cake?" This listing

as you age, you may notice new aches and pains // funny birthday card, snarky greeting card for friend or family, sarcastic card

Sale Price $3.96

Original Price $4.95

20% off "buy together" offer
May include: A black and white printable card with a humorous quote about aging. The quote reads: "Though your body is starting to fail you as you get older, you should know that we can barely tell. I mean, we can definitely tell. But barely."

though your body is starting to fail you // unique birthday card, snarky humor, sarcastic cards, funny card for sister or friend

Sale Price $3.96

Original Price $4.95

20% off "buy together" offer
May include: A humorous birthday card with a silver cake and candles. The text reads "Today we eat cake to celebrate your AGING BODY and DETERIORATING MIND."

celebrate your aging body and deteriorating mind // humorous card, funny birthday card, sarcastic cards, unique card for family or friend

Sale Price $3.96

Original Price $4.95

20% off "buy together" offer
May include: A humorous birthday card with a black and white illustration of a woman wearing a headband and a sparkly dress. The text on the card reads: "As you age, you may notice new aches and pains. Your brain may become fuzzy. Your digestive system a rebellious mess. That's totally normal. Your body is simply breaking down. Returning to the Earth, so to speak. Let's call it a slow decomposition. Again, totally normal, and definitely not something you should dwell on at your birthday party. Anyway, who's ready for cake?" This listing

as you age, you may notice new aches and pains // funny birthday card, snarky greeting card for friend or family, sarcastic card

Sale Price $3.96

Original Price $4.95

20% off "buy together" offer
May include: A black and white printable card with a humorous quote about aging. The quote reads: "Though your body is starting to fail you as you get older, you should know that we can barely tell. I mean, we can definitely tell. But barely."

though your body is starting to fail you // unique birthday card, snarky humor, sarcastic cards, funny card for sister or friend

Sale Price $3.96

Original Price $4.95

20% off "buy together" offer
May include: A humorous birthday card with a silver cake and candles. The text reads "Today we eat cake to celebrate your AGING BODY and DETERIORATING MIND."

celebrate your aging body and deteriorating mind // humorous card, funny birthday card, sarcastic cards, unique card for family or friend

Sale Price $3.96

Original Price $4.95

20% off "buy together" offer

Original value: $14.85

New total: $11.88

Highlights

  • Materials: premium natural white heavyweight cardstock, brown kraft envelope, resealable cellophane bag, created using Adobe Creative Suite

15% OFF 3 OR MORE CARDS! PROMO CODE: SNARKYCARDS
Irreverent greeting cards! One-of-a-kind creations sure to elicit a laugh, guffaw or even a snort. Each and every greeting card is lovingly handmade by Foul Mouth Betty herself. (Occasionally Betty’s dogs try to assist, but honestly, they’re shit at making cards.) Each greeting card (4.25”x5.5”) is printed on off-white, premium, heavyweight cardstock, and every package includes a card and brown kraft envelope enclosed in a resealable cellophane bag. Items ship within 1 to 3 days via USPS First-Class Mail. We hope you enjoy our cards!

TO CUSTOMIZE/DIRECT MAIL: If you’re late sending a card and need one of our cards customized with a personal message and directly mailed to your intended recipient (vs. sent to you, the buyer), you MUST get in touch with Foul Mouth Betty BEFORE placing your order so we can create a special-order listing ($2 surcharge for this service). Personal message will be printed on the inside of the card, and the envelope will be handwritten with recipient’s address and buyer’s name and return address. (Note: USPS does not track First-Class Mail, however, we’ll let you know the day the item ships.)

NOTE: Red wallpaper, pink announcement box, Betty and Photoshopped photo with card image (i.e., Easter eggs) are for presentation purposes only and are not included with purchase. CARD IN EASTER EGG PHOTO IS NOT TO SCALE. Actual card dimensions are 4.25 inches high by 5.5 inches wide.

All text and designs copyrighted ©Foul Mouth Betty Productions, LLC

  • Order today to get by Nov 14-17
  • Returns & exchanges accepted within 21 days
  • Free shipping
  • Ships from: Bellingham, WA

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Reviews for this item

What buyers say, summarized by AI: Looks great Great quality Love it Fast shipping Well packaged As described Helpful seller

5.0

We calculate this number using a recency-weighted average of all ratings, with a rating's value decreasing by half each year to best reflect the current experience.

(56 reviews)

5.0 Item quality
5.0 Shipping
5.0 Customer service
100% Buyers recommend
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5 out of 5 stars 5 This item

Elaine Aug 7, 2026

I like the sense of humor this shop has! The cards are great quality and were shipped quickly. I’m so happy with my order :)

Elaine Aug 7, 2026

5 out of 5 stars 5 This item

Susan Aug 3, 2026

I am a multi-repeat buyer because these cards are hilarious! Thank you so much for your fast service - card arrived fast, well packaged, exactly as described. A+++++ seller!

Susan Aug 3, 2026

5 out of 5 stars 5 This item

SUSAN Jun 20, 2026

Love the card and the top quality card stock used. Shipped beautifully with excellent protection and care. Thank you.

SUSAN Jun 20, 2026

5 out of 5 stars 5 This item

Kathryn May 11, 2026

Funny card on nice stock paper.

Kathryn May 11, 2026

FoulMouthBetty
Susan
FoulMouthBetty ·

Bellingham, Washington

We calculate this number using a recency-weighted average of all ratings, with a rating's value decreasing by half each year to best reflect the current experience. 5.0
·
5k sales
·
4 years on Etsy
Susan (aka Foul Mouth Betty)
1 shop member
Message seller

Typically responds within a few hours

Typically responds within a few hours

Smooth shipping Has a history of shipping on time with tracking.

Speedy replies Has a history of replying to messages quickly.

Rave reviews Average review rating is 4.8 or higher.

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