Death is a part of life. But so is the disturbing thought that at one time you squeezed through the, uh, well, you know....that part, down there, that you'd rather not, um, how to say this...see, what I'm saying is, there was you, as a baby, and your mom, as a, well a woman, and you were kind of...in between, if you get my drift, and it was, well it wasn't a pretty sight and I'd rather not go into detail thank you very much!

Front: You're one year closer to death.
Inside: But on the bright side, you're one year further away from when you touched your mom's unmentionables.

All of our cards are printed on 70lb bright white 5.5" x 4.25" stock made with recycled materials. Each piece comes with one of our signature 60lb Electric Green self sealing envelopes and two Awcard Turtle sticker seals. How classy. Your card will ship in a sturdy 6"x8" self sealing cardboard mailer guaranteed to protect against bumps, nicks and raccoon attacks.