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I Promise You Funny Birthday Card, Bday Card For Friend, Rude Greeting Card, Birthday Gift For Her, Snarky Birthday Card, You're Old Joke

Item highlights

  • Made to order

Seller's description

This card is perfect for anyone who loves a good laugh on their birthday. This punny card is the perfect way to show your love and appreciation with a bit a sarcasm for your friend, family member, or significant other. From the witty text on the front to the high-quality card stock and matte finish, this card is sure to impress. It's also blank inside, so you can write your own personal message. Each card is printed in Colorado, USA, on a paper matte stock and comes with a matching kraft envelope made from 30% Post-Consumer Waste recycled paper. Whether it's for a friend, mother, or wife, this funny and sarcastic card is sure to bring a smile to their face on their special day.

- Perfect gift for friend, siblings, sister, or significant other
- Large 5 x 7 inch size with blank interior for personalized message
- Uncoated texture on the inside for easy writing without smudging
- Printed on thick, durable cardstock for a high-quality finish
- Comes with a sturdy kraft envelope that is moisture sealed (lick-to-seal)
 

SHIPPING
✔ U.S. Orders: Economy shipping is $1.95, but this shipping options does not include a USPS tracking number. Want to track your order? Choose upgraded shipping at checkout - $4.95 for first class or $7.95 for priority. Note: Etsy's tracking for standard shipping isn't always reliable. It might show 'delivered' or 'pre-transit' inaccurately.

✔ Delivery Times: Our cards usually arrive in 2-5 days in the U.S., but sometimes it can take up to 14 days or more. Haven't received your order after 14 business days? Please reach out to me.

Thanks for understanding and choosing Sleazy Greetings for your funny card needs!

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆

Hey everyone, let's talk about mail mishaps (because, let's face it, they happen):

✔ Lost Cards: If your card is MIA for over 14 business days (give it a bit longer during holiday season snail-mail traffic), don't sweat it. Shoot me a message. I’ll step in and sort it out – because I believe in happy endings, even if the USPS occasionally doesn't.

✔ Wrong Address/Returned Cards: Accidents happen, like entering the wrong address or moving house. If a card boomerangs back to me, I’ll need you to cover the postage and a new envelope cost for a resend. I wish I could do it for free, but hey, even card magicians have to keep the lights on!

✔ Damaged Goods: In the rare event your card gets a rough ride with USPS and arrives looking less than perfect, that's a bummer for both of us. I can’t fight the USPS dragons on this since they don’t insure our funnies, but I’ll meet you halfway – you’ll get a 50% refund.

Remember, I’m here to make your card experience awesome, despite the occasional postal plot twist!

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Price:$5.00

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Shipping & return policies
  • Returns & exchanges
    Accepted within 30 days
  • Cost to ship
    $1.95 to United States, 43215.

    Enjoy free shipping to the US when you spend $35+ at this shop.

Reviews for this item

4.9

We calculate this number using a recency-weighted average of all ratings, with a rating's value decreasing by half each year to best reflect the current experience.

(5 reviews)

5.0 Item quality
4.9 Shipping
5.0 Customer service
100% Buyers recommend
Filter by category
5 out of 5 stars 5 This item

Margie Oct 4, 2026

Love these cards. Will be ordering from them again

Margie Oct 4, 2026

5 out of 5 stars 5 This item

James Jun 23, 2026

This store has amazing cards that are so funny and amazing quality

James Jun 23, 2026

5 out of 5 stars 5 This item

Mary Feb 22, 2026

Ver6 cute card, I love it! Fast delivery..thank you!

Mary Feb 22, 2026

5 out of 5 stars 5 This item

Deb Nov 2, 2025

Quality paper, packaged safely. Too funny this card.

Deb Nov 2, 2025

Seller's description

May include: A humorous greeting card featuring a cartoon illustration of a woman in a white bra and slip, holding a glass of wine. The text on the card reads "I promise you..." and is signed "H.S. Law".

This card is perfect for anyone who loves a good laugh on their birthday. This punny card is the perfect way to show your love and appreciation with a bit a sarcasm for your friend, family member, or significant other. From the witty text on the front to the high-quality card stock and matte finish, this card is sure to impress. It's also blank inside, so you can write your own personal message. Each card is printed in Colorado, USA, on a paper matte stock and comes with a matching kraft envelope made from 30% Post-Consumer Waste recycled paper. Whether it's for a friend, mother, or wife, this funny and sarcastic card is sure to bring a smile to their face on their special day.

- Perfect gift for friend, siblings, sister, or significant other
- Large 5 x 7 inch size with blank interior for personalized message
- Uncoated texture on the inside for easy writing without smudging
- Printed on thick, durable cardstock for a high-quality finish
- Comes with a sturdy kraft envelope that is moisture sealed (lick-to-seal)
 

SHIPPING
✔ U.S. Orders: Economy shipping is $1.95, but this shipping options does not include a USPS tracking number. Want to track your order? Choose upgraded shipping at checkout - $4.95 for first class or $7.95 for priority. Note: Etsy's tracking for standard shipping isn't always reliable. It might show 'delivered' or 'pre-transit' inaccurately.

✔ Delivery Times: Our cards usually arrive in 2-5 days in the U.S., but sometimes it can take up to 14 days or more. Haven't received your order after 14 business days? Please reach out to me.

Thanks for understanding and choosing Sleazy Greetings for your funny card needs!

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆

Hey everyone, let's talk about mail mishaps (because, let's face it, they happen):

✔ Lost Cards: If your card is MIA for over 14 business days (give it a bit longer during holiday season snail-mail traffic), don't sweat it. Shoot me a message. I’ll step in and sort it out – because I believe in happy endings, even if the USPS occasionally doesn't.

✔ Wrong Address/Returned Cards: Accidents happen, like entering the wrong address or moving house. If a card boomerangs back to me, I’ll need you to cover the postage and a new envelope cost for a resend. I wish I could do it for free, but hey, even card magicians have to keep the lights on!

✔ Damaged Goods: In the rare event your card gets a rough ride with USPS and arrives looking less than perfect, that's a bummer for both of us. I can’t fight the USPS dragons on this since they don’t insure our funnies, but I’ll meet you halfway – you’ll get a 50% refund.

Remember, I’m here to make your card experience awesome, despite the occasional postal plot twist!

Delivery details and policies

  • Get it by
    Nov 19-27
  • Returns and exchanges
    Accepted within 30 days.
  • Ships from
    Englewood, CO
  • Cost to ship
    $1.95 to United States, 43215

    Enjoy free shipping to the US when you spend $35+ at this shop.

    There was a problem calculating your shipping. Please try again.

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Meet your seller

SleazyGreetings
SleazyGreetings ·

Denver, Colorado

We calculate this number using a recency-weighted average of all ratings, with a rating's value decreasing by half each year to best reflect the current experience. 4.8
·
48k sales
·
8 years on Etsy
Nate Treichler
1 shop member

Smooth shipping Has a history of shipping on time with tracking.

Rave reviews Average review rating is 4.8 or higher.

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Listed on Sep 26, 2026