This listing is for one mason jar scented soy wax candle with funny label. A perfect funny retirement gift!

"Light this when you need to calm the fuck down!"

Choose your scent, size, & lid color in the drop down menu's.

We do offer a gift wrap upgrade in the checkout. Candle would be wrapped in tissue paper inside a reuseable/recyclable gray burlap bag, cushioned with brown crinkle paper when the gift wrap upgrade is chosen.

If sending directly to your friend/family, just enter their name and address in the ship to section of the checkout.

Matches not included, but make a great addition to your candle order. You can find them here-
https://www.etsy.com/listing/946183596/bottled-matches-colored-tip-matches

If you need more candles then we have listed, no problem...just contact me and I will make them special for you. Processing times on large orders may be 1-2 weeks.

We use natural soy wax, grown in the USA. Absolutely no paraffin is used in our candles or melts.We use cotton or paper wicks, no zinc or lead ever. We use the maximum amount of fragrance soy wax can hold, giving you a wonderfully delightfully scented candle.

Why is soy wax better? It is eco-friendly, renewable, sustainable, carbon neutral, all natural & toxin free.

These are made in recyclable glass jars, we kindly ask you clean and recycle them or reuse when empty. To clean them, empty as much wax as possible into the trash, soy wax is easy to clean...but it will clog your drains if you put it down the sink.

These candles make great gifts, additions to gift baskets, or just to treat yourself! Don't we all need a little treat and laugh at home these days? I say YES!

Soy wax burns longer and cleaner then traditional paraffin wax.

Approximate burn times-
4oz- 20 hours
8oz- 40 hours
12oz- 60 hours
16oz- 80 hours
Burn times can vary. Many things can play a role. Drafts, fans, how much the wick is trimmed, and much more.

If you accidentally trimmed the wick to small and your flame is not doing the job burning the wax enough. You can pour a little of the wax out into a safe container in the trash, to get it back on the right track.

**CAUTION- Not edible...so don't eat them, no matter how good it smells! Never leave a burning candle unattended.**
***Burning Instructions:
The first time you burn the candle, please allow it to burn until the liquid melted wax covers the entire top of the candle. This breaking in process insures that it will perform better & more evenly throughout the life of the candle. This will help insure a clean & efficient burning for the life of the candle. Never leave a burning candle unattended. Keep wicks trimmed to 1/4 inch. If you notice a large flame during burning, blow out the candle & trim the wick before re-lighting. Always place burning candles on heat resistant surface. Never move a candle while hot or burning. Blow out the candle if jar becomes excessively hot. Keep out of drafts. Keep out of reach of children and your animal kids.
To prevent candles from boring a hole down the middle, burn candles at a minimum of at least one hour for each inch in diameter. For example burn a 3 inch diameter candle for a minimum of at least 3 hours each time. Burn long enough to achieve a melt pool that can be seen all the way around the glass.
Discontinue use when there is only 1/4" wax left.***

We do not add any dyes ever, but some fragrance oils do give the wax a yellowish tone.

These candles have a processing time of up to 10 days. Soy candles take time to cure. These are custom poured when you order.

Our current scents-

APPLE PIE- Just like grandma's apple pie.

BLUEBERRY COBBLER- A fruity creamy bouquet with a lactony sweet background.

BLACKBERRY-fruity bouquet with cassies and jasmine topnotes with a sweet fruity background

BLACKBERRY SAGE- A fruity bouquet with cassies and jasmine topnotes with a sweet fruity background and clean smelling scent of sage.

BAHAMA DREAMS- Fresh sparkling citrus highlights this tropical blend of pineapple, papaya and mango as island inspired tones of sweet coconut add a blissful sensation to the blend. Sugared vanilla and clear musk completes the exotic sensation.

BUTT NAKED- A green fruity bouquet with strawberry, banana, peach & melon topnotes with sweet lactony background. Like sipping a drink on a nude beach.

CITRUS & SAGE- Sicillian lemon, ruby grapefruit, sage & basil leaves.

Christmas Tree Farm-Buttery and Creamy sweet Chocolate with Nutty Top Notes sitting on a base of rich Vanilla an Cotton Candy bottom notes

COCONUT LIME- Fresh lime & crisp citrus leads to a tropical floral accord which texturizes the heart of this fragrance. A base of grated coconut & sweet vanilla blends with sugared musk to complete the exotic sensation.

COFFEE SHOP- Sweet Citron Peel, Caramel Crème, Kona Coffee, Mocha Latte & Brazilian
Sugar Cane.

COZY FLANNEL-Fresh Air, Lemon Peel
Honeysuckle, Violet Petals, Green Leaves
Vanilla Bean, White Musk, Blonde Woods

EUCALYPTUS & SPEARMINT- Eucalyptus Oil clears the mind while Spearmint Oil uplifts the soul.

FARM FRESH APPLES- Top notes of crisp apple followed by fresh green notes and subtle notes of pear with the sweetness of fresh picked apples.

GRAPEFRUIT MANGOSTEEN- Ripe fresh Citrus and Cool Mango top notes with middle& bottom notes of pineapple, jasmine and rose

HAPPY HIPPIE- A great earthy scent, very much like nag champa. Just like visiting a little hippie shop.

HILLBILLY MISTLETOE-A really nice take of a mistletoe/evergreen type fragrance. Has a hint of fruit that adds that little something extra. Fruity, green and piney top notes slightly spicy, berry type of sweet middle notes cotton candy , mossy, musky & sweet raspberry type of bottom notes

HONEYSUCKLE JASMINE- Green foliage blends with sweet jasmine as it intertwines with blooming honeysuckle in this garden blend. Musk and sandalwood create sunny warmth for the bouquet.

KENTUCKY BOURBON- Maple barrle, fruity, woody, vanilla with musky like background.

LAVENDER- Floral bouquet of rose, carnation & violet enhanced by jasmine & lavender on a dry down of patchouli, cedarwood and oak moss. This is a nice light fresh scent.

LEMON GRASS- Energizes & relieves nervousness. A slightly green citrus bouquet with lemon and orange notes.

LOVE STRUCK-Sweet bouquet of mandarin, bergamot & orange enhanced by hints of peach & berries on an undertone of musk. Like having your own personal love spell!

MAGNOLIA- A fragrant blend of exotic white
flowers.

MAHOGANY TEAKWOOD- Green, citrus & fruit top notes with floral notes of jasmine, rose & lily middle notes enhanced by sweet woody musky bottom notes.

MAJESTIC SEAS- A refreshing wave of soft petals, watery nuances & earthy tones is reminiscent of the majesty
of the deep blue sea. Ocean mist, sea moss, cyclamen petals, geranium
flower, water mint, coriander seed, white cedarwood.

MAPLE GLAZED BACON- Bacon lovers this us for your! A mixture of a maple bacon (you can defiantly smell the maple) and a BBQ smell. A very intriguing fragrance that smell like nothing else.

MONKEY FARTS- A juicy fruit medley of peach, strawberry, pineapple, coconut & orange blended with creamy vanilla & an exotic musk.

PINEAPPLE-This one's pretty much a self explanation. Sweet tropical juicy fruit.

PINEAPPLE MANGO- Top notes - Aldehydic, Citrusy Fruity green Pineapple
Middle Notes – Rose, Lily of the Valley and Jasmine.
Bottom Notes – long lasting Musky n Sweet Cotton Candy.

PINEAPPLE SAGE- A sweet and relaxing blend of two favorite sents.

RASPBERRY LEMONADE- Sweet raspberry blended with the crispness of lemonade makes for a wonder tangy mix.

SANDALWOOD- A exotic, sweet, creamy, smooth, and warm.

SAGE- A clean smelling scent of sage.

SANTA FARTS-Buttery and Creamy sweet Chocolate with Nutty Top Notes sitting on a base of rich Vanilla an Cotton Candy bottom notes

SPARKLING CLEAN- One of those fragrances that smells great but yet
you just can't pinpoint what it is. This clean fragrance has a light hint of apple & jasmine it's just absolutely intriguing from the first breath. Light & clean.

SPRING RAIN- Fresh hyacinth combined with nuances of jasmine, rose petals, & ylang.

SUNNY VINEYARD- Crisp citrus peel highlights this berry blend as watery green accents create the refreshing top note. Warm woods & golden amber add smooth sweetness at the base of the scent.

SWEATER WEATHER-A burst of fresh air tingles with mint as it opens this festive blend, Snow covered pine needles are sweetened with winter berries and laced with wood notes that lead to the velvet mossy undertone. Lingering sweetness of vanilla musk finishes the scent.

SWEET & TWISTED-A tempting blend of cool, refreshing mint, white sugar,
and just a hint of rich vanilla.

VANILLA BEAN- Smells of freshly picked pods from the madagascar plant. Sweet and warm.

WATERMELON PUNCH- Fresh orange adds fruity pop to this classic summer fruit scent. Sugared watermelon gets natural sensations from a blend of green tones for the fragrance signature. A hint of berry finishes the blend.

If a scent is not listed in our drop down menu or showing out of stock, that means I am making more and they will be ready in 1-2 weeks. Soy candles takes 2 weeks to cure and make sure you get a awesome smelling candle.. Thanks!