festive as fuck christmas card / funny retro housewife holiday card / sarcastic xmas card / christmas gift basket for her / holiday humor

Some people decorate the tree. Others become the decoration.

This funny Christmas card features a fabulous retro white housewife wearing bows all over her head, with the perfect amount of holiday humor and cheer and absolutely no filter. The front says “Festive as Fuck”—because sometimes a little profanity makes the season merrier.

Perfect for your best friend, sister, wife, coworker, or anyone who takes Christmas spirit seriously… but not too seriously.

Perfect for:

Funny Christmas gifts
Sarcastic holiday greetings
Best friends with a wicked sense of humor
Retro Christmas lovers
Rude and irreverent holiday card exchanges
Anyone who is unapologetically festive

A hilarious way to send holiday cheer with a little extra attitude.

check out our african american (black) version here:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/4575358941/funny-black-christmas-card-festive-as

~OUTSIDE:
"festive as fuck"

INSIDE:
blank for you to write your own personal sentiment.

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INCLUDES
✔ A2 size (4.25 x 5.5” half letter) card printed on matte 80# quality card stock - landscape orientation.
✔ A2 size brown kraft self sealing envelope.

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DISCOUNT CODES

✔ 3FOR13 (3 cards for $13)
✔ 6FOR26 (6 cards for $26)
✔ 9FOR39 (9 cards for $39)
✔ 15FOR65 (15 cards for $65)

✔ 50 cards or more receive 15% off with code 15PERCENTOVER50

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SHIPPING
✔ all cards ship free using U.S. Postal Service (USPS). We usually ship within 24 hours.
✔ orders of 5 cards or less - NO TRACKING - think letter with a stamp. Etsy will call it tracking but it is
rarely accurate so please do not go by that.
✔ orders of 6 cards or more - TRACKING INCLUDED - no upgrade needed.
✔ want tracking on orders of 5 cards or less? upgrade to Ground Advantage for $5.00 or Priority Mail
for $11.

✔ Please note USPS can be pretty slow in some cases - many times my cards arrive in 2-5 days, but other
times, it can take 12 or more! Please contact me if you haven't received it after 14 business days of
shipping.

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RETURNS
✔ We love happy customers! Although we don’t accept returns or exchanges, please contact us with
any issues so we can make it right.

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✔Each card is designed, printed, folded and sent with love from the beautiful Black Hills of South Dakota!

follow me on instagram! : www.instagram.com/quirkycardcompany
follow me on facebook! : www.facebook.com/quirkycardcompany

THANKS FOR YOUR ORDER. GRANNY WOULD BE PROUD :)

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ehhh...the "NOT SO FINE" print:

Heya! - things can happen to mail. I'd like to say USPS is awesome, but granny didn't raise no liar.
✔ Lost cards: this can happen - if you don't have your card after 14 business days (longer during the holidays cuz they're slow as molasses) please reach out to me (within 60 days). I will make it right - cuz I'm awesome even if USPS isn’t.
✔ Returned cards: if a card is returned due to you inputting the wrong address or because you have moved, I will resend to the correct address for a $1 fee to cover mailing supplies and postage.
✔ Damaged: very rarely a card may get damaged by USPS - this is not my fault - and it sucks for BOTH of us. Since they are not insured with USPS, Please let me know and I will direct you how to open a case with Etsy’s purchase protection program for damaged items. Be sure to take pictures.