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funny halloween card / sarcastic halloween card or gift / it's that time of year / retro woman / halloween greeting for friend, candy lover

Price:$4.85

QuirkyCardCompany  
5 out of 5 stars
Arrives soon! Get it by Nov 9-16 if you order today
Nov 9-16

You can only make an offer when buying a single item

Star Seller. This seller consistently earned 5-star reviews, shipped on time, and replied quickly to any messages they received.

It’s that time of year when we all get to pretend the 5 pounds of candy we’re buying is for the trick-or-treaters. 🎃

This hilarious Halloween greeting card features a sassy, retro-inspired woman and the perfect excuse for anyone who mysteriously ends up with a lot less candy by Halloween night.

Perfect for:

Funny Halloween cards
Sarcastic Halloween cards
Snarky Halloween greetings
Retro Halloween lovers
Vintage-inspired Halloween gifts
Funny cards for friends
Halloween party hosts
Coworkers with a sense of humor
Best friends who appreciate a little sass

~OUTSIDE:
"it’s that time of year when i get to pretend the 5 pounds of candy i’m buying is for trick-or-treaters"

INSIDE:
blank for you to write your own personal sentiment.

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INCLUDES
✔ A2 size (4.25 x 5.5” half letter) card printed on matte 80# quality card stock - landscape orientation.
✔ A2 size brown kraft self sealing envelope.

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DISCOUNT CODES

✔ 3FOR13 (3 cards for $13)
✔ 6FOR26 (6 cards for $26)
✔ 9FOR39 (9 cards for $39)
✔ 15FOR65 (15 cards for $65)

✔ 50 cards or more receive 15% off with code 15PERCENTOVER50

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SHIPPING
✔ all cards ship free using U.S. Postal Service (USPS). We usually ship within 24 hours.
✔ orders of 5 cards or less - NO TRACKING - think letter with a stamp. Etsy will call it tracking but it is
rarely accurate so please do not go by that.
✔ orders of 6 cards or more - TRACKING INCLUDED - no upgrade needed.
✔ want tracking on orders of 5 cards or less? upgrade to Ground Advantage for $5.00 or Priority Mail
for $11.

✔ Please note USPS can be pretty slow in some cases - many times my cards arrive in 2-5 days, but other
times, it can take 12 or more! Please contact me if you haven't received it after 14 business days of
shipping.

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RETURNS
✔ We love happy customers! Although we don’t accept returns or exchanges, please contact us with
any issues so we can make it right.g.

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✔Each card is designed, printed, folded and sent with love from the beautiful Black Hills of South Dakota!

follow me on instagram! : www.instagram.com/quirkycardcompany
follow me on facebook! : www.facebook.com/quirkycardcompany

THANKS FOR YOUR ORDER. GRANNY WOULD BE PROUD :)

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ehhh...the "NOT SO FINE" print:

Heya! - things can happen to mail. I'd like to say USPS is awesome, but granny didn't raise no liar.
✔ Lost cards: this can happen - if you don't have your card after 14 business days (longer during the holidays cuz they're slow as molasses) please reach out to me (within 60 days). I will make it right - cuz I'm awesome even if USPS isn’t.
✔ Returned cards: if a card is returned due to you inputting the wrong address or because you have moved, I will resend to the correct address for a $1 fee to cover mailing supplies and postage.
✔ Damaged: very rarely a card may get damaged by USPS - this is not my fault - and it sucks for BOTH of us. Since they are not insured with USPS, Please let me know and I will direct you how to open a case with Etsy’s purchase protection program for damaged items. Be sure to take pictures.

  • Order today to get by Nov 9-16
  • Returns & exchanges not accepted
  • Free shipping
  • Ships from: Custer, SD

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Etsy invests in climate solutions like electric trucks and carbon offsets for every delivery. See how
Etsy invests in climate solutions like electric trucks and carbon offsets for every delivery. See how

Reviews for this item

5.0

We calculate this number using a recency-weighted average of all ratings, with a rating's value decreasing by half each year to best reflect the current experience.

(4 reviews)

5.0 Item quality
5.0 Shipping
100% Buyers recommend
5 out of 5 stars 5 This item

Etsy buyer Oct 15, 2026

Funny card and quality stock. Super fast shipping! Thanks so much!

Etsy buyer Oct 15, 2026

5 out of 5 stars 5 This item

Nanette Sep 22, 2026

Perfect for my siblings who buy candy "early" to be prepared, then eat it all prior to Halloween!

Nanette Sep 22, 2026

5 out of 5 stars 5 This item

N Aug 30, 2026

Can't wait to send this great Halloween card to a friend of mine. I know she will have a good laugh.

N Aug 30, 2026

5 out of 5 stars 5 This item

Etsy buyer Aug 18, 2026

High quality. As described. Arrived on time.

Etsy buyer Aug 18, 2026

QuirkyCardCompany
Jackie
QuirkyCardCompany ·

Custer, South Dakota

We calculate this number using a recency-weighted average of all ratings, with a rating's value decreasing by half each year to best reflect the current experience. 5.0
·
191.8k sales
·
7 years on Etsy
Jackie
1 shop member
Message seller

Typically responds within a few hours

Typically responds within a few hours

Smooth shipping Has a history of shipping on time with tracking.

Speedy replies Has a history of replying to messages quickly.

Rave reviews Average review rating is 4.8 or higher.

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Listed on Oct 20, 2026
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