• May include: A greeting card featuring a vintage-style illustration of a person in a red apron pouring a box labeled RAT POISON into a mixing bowl. A tin of cookies with a red bow sits nearby, and the text Season of Giving is printed below.
  • May include: A white greeting card featuring a circular illustration of a woman with a white bar over her eyes. Below the image, the text reads Domestic Disturbia, Pearls. Pills. Panic. Made with love. Distributed with discretion. Season of Giving.
  • May include: A white greeting card opened to reveal black printed text on the right side that reads: Susan kept a list of everyone who had been good this year. Everyone else got cookies. The card is displayed against a solid light yellow background.
  • May include: A greeting card featuring a vintage-style illustration of a person in a red apron adding powder from a yellow box labeled RAT POISON into a mixing bowl. The back of the card displays the text Domestic Disturbia, Pearls, Pills, Panic.
  • May include: A greeting card featuring a vintage-style illustration of a person in a red apron adding ingredients from a box labeled RAT POISON into a mixing bowl. A tin of cookies with a red bow and holly sprigs are on the kitchen counter.
  • May include: A rectangular greeting card measuring 5 inches by 7 inches featuring a vintage-style illustration of a person in a red apron adding powder from a yellow box labeled RAT POISON into a mixing bowl, with cookies in the foreground.
  • May include: A framed print featuring a vintage-style illustration of a person in a red apron and pearl necklace adding ingredients to a bowl, holding a yellow box labeled Rat Poison, with a tin of cookies and a Christmas wreath in the background.
  • May include: A square informational graphic on a light yellow background featuring a vintage-style illustration of a person at the top. The text reads: Free Shipping! Our cards are dependable. Unfortunately, tracking is not. USPS details follow.
  • May include: A greeting card featuring a vintage-style illustration of a person in a red apron pouring a box labeled RAT POISON into a mixing bowl. A tin of cookies with a red bow sits nearby, and the text Season of Giving is printed below.
  • Product video
  • May include: A white greeting card featuring a circular illustration of a woman with a white bar over her eyes. Below the image, the text reads Domestic Disturbia, Pearls. Pills. Panic. Made with love. Distributed with discretion. Season of Giving.
  • May include: A white greeting card opened to reveal black printed text on the right side that reads: Susan kept a list of everyone who had been good this year. Everyone else got cookies. The card is displayed against a solid light yellow background.
  • May include: A greeting card featuring a vintage-style illustration of a person in a red apron adding powder from a yellow box labeled RAT POISON into a mixing bowl. The back of the card displays the text Domestic Disturbia, Pearls, Pills, Panic.
  • May include: A greeting card featuring a vintage-style illustration of a person in a red apron adding ingredients from a box labeled RAT POISON into a mixing bowl. A tin of cookies with a red bow and holly sprigs are on the kitchen counter.
  • May include: A rectangular greeting card measuring 5 inches by 7 inches featuring a vintage-style illustration of a person in a red apron adding powder from a yellow box labeled RAT POISON into a mixing bowl, with cookies in the foreground.
  • May include: A framed print featuring a vintage-style illustration of a person in a red apron and pearl necklace adding ingredients to a bowl, holding a yellow box labeled Rat Poison, with a tin of cookies and a Christmas wreath in the background.
  • May include: A square informational graphic on a light yellow background featuring a vintage-style illustration of a person at the top. The text reads: Free Shipping! Our cards are dependable. Unfortunately, tracking is not. USPS details follow.
Report this item to Etsy

Dark Humor Christmas Greeting Card | Season of Giving

Item highlights

  • Materials: Cardstock, Kraft paper
  • Dimensions: Width: 5 Inches; Length: 7 Inches

Seller's description

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄: “Susan kept a list of everyone who had been good this year. Everyone else got cookies.”

Part of the Domestic Disturbia collection, “Season of Giving,” pairs the polished optimism of vintage 1950s advertising with situations that are just slightly harder to explain. Perfect for friends, family, coworkers, or anyone who appreciates strange humor, retro aesthetics, and beautifully composed bad decisions.

-----------------------

𝐖𝐇𝐘 𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐍 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘?

Love this card? Get six of it. 6 of a Kind lets you choose this design (or one of five others) and receive six matching cards, shipped free, at 20% less than buying them separately:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/4607574183/funny-retro-housewife-christmas-cards-6

Prefer the whole dysfunctional family? The Holiday Six includes this card and five others at the same savings:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/4587826206/funny-retro-housewife-christmas-card-set

-----------------------

𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒:
• 5x7” greeting card
• Printed on heavyweight cardstock
• Printed interior copy with plenty of room for your personal message
• Includes Kraft A7 peel-and-seal envelope
• Protective clear sleeve
• Envelope sticker seal
• Professionally printed in the USA

-----------------------

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑:
• Christmas
• Holiday Cards
• Secret Santa
• White Elephant
• Office Holiday Party
• Holiday Gatherings
• Dark Humor Lovers
• Anyone with a "naughty or nice" list of their own

-----------------------

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆:
Single card orders ship via USPS First Class Mail within 1-2 business days. Please allow up to 7 days for delivery. Tracking isn’t available on single card orders. This is normal, not a crisis. Orders of 2 or more cards will ship via USPS Ground Advantage in a protective bubble mailer with tracking included.

All orders of $35+ ship free.

-----------------------

𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/DomesticDisturbia#faq


-----------------------

𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒𝐄:
This item is an original Domestic Disturbia design and is intended for personal use only. The artwork, design, and text are original creations of Domestic Disturbia and are protected by copyright. Reproduction, scanning, copying, editing, or redistribution of this design for commercial use or resale is not permitted.


© Domestic Disturbia. All rights reserved. All feelings repressed.

-----------------------

𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐀:
Domestic Disturbia is a collection of darkly funny products inspired by mid-century advertising illustrations, vintage homemaking culture, and the quiet chaos hidden beneath perfectly arranged suburban life.

Artwork concept, art direction, and brand voice by Domestic Disturbia. Rendered with generative tools and refined digitally. Every sentiment is an original product of our deeply questionable imagination.

If you like this, it gets worse.
Find us at domesticdisturbia.com

View more

11 views in the last 24 hours

Price:$7.85

You can only make an offer when buying a single item

Shipping & return policies
  • Get it by
    Nov 4-10
  • Cost to ship
    $2.50 to United States, 43215.

    Enjoy free shipping to the US when you spend $35+ at this shop.

Reviews for this item

5.0

We calculate this number using a recency-weighted average of all ratings, with a rating's value decreasing by half each year to best reflect the current experience.

(3 reviews)

5.0 Item quality
5.0 Shipping
5.0 Customer service
100% Buyers recommend
5 out of 5 stars 5 This item

William Oct 10, 2026

Everyone can relate to the forbidden thought; that is what makes it so hilarious !!

William Oct 10, 2026

Response from Domestic Disturbia

Thank you, William!

5 out of 5 stars 5 This item

Amanda Oct 10, 2026

These are fantastic cards! On top of being funny, they’re great quality, bright clear colors, and arrived very quickly! Would absolutely purchase from them again.

Amanda Oct 10, 2026

Response from Domestic Disturbia

Thank you, Amanda! We're thrilled they arrived bright, crisp, and quickly. Thanks for the lovely photo. We hope your intended recipients enjoy them as much as you did.

5 out of 5 stars 5 This item

Phil Sep 28, 2026

Well made and arrives quickly.

Phil Sep 28, 2026

Photos from reviews

Seller's description

Specifications

May include: A greeting card featuring a vintage-style illustration of a person in a red apron pouring a box labeled RAT POISON into a mixing bowl. A tin of cookies with a red bow sits nearby, and the text Season of Giving is printed below.

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄: “Susan kept a list of everyone who had been good this year. Everyone else got cookies.”

Part of the Domestic Disturbia collection, “Season of Giving,” pairs the polished optimism of vintage 1950s advertising with situations that are just slightly harder to explain. Perfect for friends, family, coworkers, or anyone who appreciates strange humor, retro aesthetics, and beautifully composed bad decisions.

-----------------------

𝐖𝐇𝐘 𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐍 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘?

Love this card? Get six of it. 6 of a Kind lets you choose this design (or one of five others) and receive six matching cards, shipped free, at 20% less than buying them separately:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/4607574183/funny-retro-housewife-christmas-cards-6

Prefer the whole dysfunctional family? The Holiday Six includes this card and five others at the same savings:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/4587826206/funny-retro-housewife-christmas-card-set

-----------------------

𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒:
• 5x7” greeting card
• Printed on heavyweight cardstock
• Printed interior copy with plenty of room for your personal message
• Includes Kraft A7 peel-and-seal envelope
• Protective clear sleeve
• Envelope sticker seal
• Professionally printed in the USA

-----------------------

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑:
• Christmas
• Holiday Cards
• Secret Santa
• White Elephant
• Office Holiday Party
• Holiday Gatherings
• Dark Humor Lovers
• Anyone with a "naughty or nice" list of their own

-----------------------

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆:
Single card orders ship via USPS First Class Mail within 1-2 business days. Please allow up to 7 days for delivery. Tracking isn’t available on single card orders. This is normal, not a crisis. Orders of 2 or more cards will ship via USPS Ground Advantage in a protective bubble mailer with tracking included.

All orders of $35+ ship free.

-----------------------

𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/DomesticDisturbia#faq


-----------------------

𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒𝐄:
This item is an original Domestic Disturbia design and is intended for personal use only. The artwork, design, and text are original creations of Domestic Disturbia and are protected by copyright. Reproduction, scanning, copying, editing, or redistribution of this design for commercial use or resale is not permitted.


© Domestic Disturbia. All rights reserved. All feelings repressed.

-----------------------

𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐀:
Domestic Disturbia is a collection of darkly funny products inspired by mid-century advertising illustrations, vintage homemaking culture, and the quiet chaos hidden beneath perfectly arranged suburban life.

Artwork concept, art direction, and brand voice by Domestic Disturbia. Rendered with generative tools and refined digitally. Every sentiment is an original product of our deeply questionable imagination.

If you like this, it gets worse.
Find us at domesticdisturbia.com

DomesticDisturbia made this item with help from
Custom digital printing business., Fairport, NY
  • Designed by
    DomesticDisturbia
  • Materials
    Cardstock, kraft paper
  • Width
    5 Inches
  • Length
    7 Inches

Delivery details and policies

  • Get it by
    Nov 4-10
  • Returns and exchanges
    Not accepted.
  • Ships from
    Nashville, TN
  • Cost to ship
    $2.50 to United States, 43215

    Enjoy free shipping to the US when you spend $35+ at this shop.

    There was a problem calculating your shipping. Please try again.

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Meet your seller

DomesticDisturbia
Domestic Disturbia
DomesticDisturbia ·

Nashville, Tennessee

We calculate this number using a recency-weighted average of all ratings, with a rating's value decreasing by half each year to best reflect the current experience. 5.0
·
102 sales
·
5 months on Etsy
George
1 shop member

Usually responds in a few hours

Speedy replies Has a history of replying to messages quickly.

Rave reviews Average review rating is 4.8 or higher.

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