• May include: A deck of cards titled How We Hold On: A Guided Attachment Deck. The cover features a black and white ink illustration of a bird's nest containing three speckled eggs. The text The Psych Depot is printed at the bottom of the card.
  • May include: A set of attachment style cards titled How We Hold On, featuring a black and white illustration of a bird nest with three speckled eggs. The cards include text about attachment patterns, 24 cards total, and are a printable PDF.
  • May include: Six rectangular cards arranged in two rows of three, featuring the text 'WHAT'S INSIDE Six cards for each attachment pattern'. Each card displays a specific psychological pattern title, a descriptive paragraph, a quote, and a question.
  • May include: A rectangular card titled Every Card Three ways in, featuring The Avoidant Pattern One Foot Out. The text describes a relationship pattern, provides an example phrase, and poses a question. To the right, sections define The Pattern, It Sounds Like, and One Question, with The Psych Depot at the bottom.
  • May include: A set of 24 cards titled Anxious, avoidant, fearful and secure. The text lists four patterns: Anxious with terms like Protest and Hypervigilance, Avoidant with Deactivating and Self-Reliance, Fearful with Push and Pull, and Secure with A Secure Base and Repair. The Psych Depot is at the bottom.
  • May include: Two off-white instructional cards with black text. The left card is titled How to Use This Deck, explaining attachment theory and card usage. The right card is titled Notice the Alarm, describing relationship patterns and triggers.
  • May include: A digital guided attachment deck titled How We Hold On, featuring a bird nest illustration with three speckled eggs. The text details a 32-page PDF including a cover, guide, cards, and dividers, with a card size of 5.5 x 7.5 inches.
  • May include: Two white rectangular cards with black text on a light beige background. The top card features the heading The Secure Pattern, the word Repair, and text about relationship ruptures, including the question, How do you usually come back after a conflict, if you do?
  • May include: A deck of cards titled How We Hold On: A Guided Attachment Deck. The cover features a detailed black and white illustration of a bird's nest containing three speckled eggs, with the text The Psych Depot at the bottom of the page.
  • May include: A deck of cards titled How We Hold On: A Guided Attachment Deck. The cover features a black and white ink illustration of a bird's nest containing three speckled eggs. The text The Psych Depot is printed at the bottom of the card.
  • May include: A set of attachment style cards titled How We Hold On, featuring a black and white illustration of a bird nest with three speckled eggs. The cards include text about attachment patterns, 24 cards total, and are a printable PDF.
  • May include: Six rectangular cards arranged in two rows of three, featuring the text 'WHAT'S INSIDE Six cards for each attachment pattern'. Each card displays a specific psychological pattern title, a descriptive paragraph, a quote, and a question.
  • May include: A rectangular card titled Every Card Three ways in, featuring The Avoidant Pattern One Foot Out. The text describes a relationship pattern, provides an example phrase, and poses a question. To the right, sections define The Pattern, It Sounds Like, and One Question, with The Psych Depot at the bottom.
  • May include: A set of 24 cards titled Anxious, avoidant, fearful and secure. The text lists four patterns: Anxious with terms like Protest and Hypervigilance, Avoidant with Deactivating and Self-Reliance, Fearful with Push and Pull, and Secure with A Secure Base and Repair. The Psych Depot is at the bottom.
  • May include: Two off-white instructional cards with black text. The left card is titled How to Use This Deck, explaining attachment theory and card usage. The right card is titled Notice the Alarm, describing relationship patterns and triggers.
  • May include: A digital guided attachment deck titled How We Hold On, featuring a bird nest illustration with three speckled eggs. The text details a 32-page PDF including a cover, guide, cards, and dividers, with a card size of 5.5 x 7.5 inches.
  • May include: Two white rectangular cards with black text on a light beige background. The top card features the heading The Secure Pattern, the word Repair, and text about relationship ruptures, including the question, How do you usually come back after a conflict, if you do?
  • May include: A deck of cards titled How We Hold On: A Guided Attachment Deck. The cover features a detailed black and white illustration of a bird's nest containing three speckled eggs, with the text The Psych Depot at the bottom of the page.
Report this item to Etsy

Attachment Style Cards: Anxious, Avoidant, Fearful, Secure | Relationship Reflection Deck for Therapists, Couples & Self-Work

Item highlights

  • Digital download
  • Digital file type(s): 2 PDF

Seller's description

How We Hold On is a printable card deck about attachment, the patterns you learned early for staying close to the people you depend on. Those patterns switch on when a relationship feels threatened. A partner goes quiet, a friend cancels, someone seems to pull away, and an old alarm starts running the show.

Most attachment products stop at naming your style. This deck goes further, into where each pattern began, what it's trying to protect, and how people move toward security over time. Researchers call that earned security, and it's possible at any age.

---

WHAT'S INSIDE

The Anxious Pattern: Protest, Hypervigilance, Reassurance, Self-Abandonment, Too Much, Where It Began

The Avoidant Pattern: Deactivating, Self-Reliance, The Phantom, Minimizing, One Foot Out, Where It Began

The Fearful Pattern: Push and Pull, Bracing, Testing, Exposure, Shutting Down, Where It Began

The Secure Pattern: A Secure Base, Asking Directly, Repair, Room to Breathe, Earned Security, Safe Haven

Every card has a plain-language description, an "It sounds like" line showing what people say or think when the pattern takes over, and one question to sit with.

The deck also includes a How to Use guide, a Start Here card on noticing when your attachment alarm goes off, a divider for each pattern, and a closing note.

---

HOW PEOPLE USE IT

Therapists use a card to open a session, to help a client name what happens in their relationships, or as a between-session prompt. It works in individual and couples work.

Couples can each draw a card and talk about which lines sound familiar. It's often easier to discuss a pattern on a card than to describe it in the middle of an argument.

On your own, draw one card at a time. Most people recognize themselves in more than one pattern, and patterns can shift from one relationship to another. The Secure cards come last, because they show where the work is heading.

---

WHAT YOU GET

- How We Hold On (PDF, 32 pages). Cover, How to Use, Start Here, four dividers, 24 cards, and a closing note.
- Start Here (PDF). A welcome page from The Psych Depot.

Each card is 5.5 x 7.5 inches with corner trim marks. Print at actual size on Letter or A4 paper and cut along the marks. Card stock holds up best, but plain paper works. You can also read the PDF on a tablet.

This is a digital file. Nothing ships.

---

WHO MADE IT

I'm Mike McInerney, a licensed professional counselor and a school counselor for 28 years. These cards draw on the attachment research of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. This deck is part of a series with The Parts Within (IFS), The Patterns We Repeat (schema therapy), What We Do Instead (defense mechanisms), and Facing the Givens (existential therapy).

---

WANT ALL FIVE DECKS?

This deck is also part of The Inner World Collection, a bundle of all five Psych Depot card decks (IFS, schema therapy, defense mechanisms, attachment and existential) for $24.99. That's 120 cards for less than the price of four decks bought separately.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/4590055213/therapy-card-deck-bundle-ifs-parts

Please note: This product is for education and self-help. It is not therapy, diagnosis, or medical advice, and buying it does not create a counselor-client relationship. Clinical tools support professional judgment and do not replace it. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 (US) or call 911.

Instant download. Because this is a digital file, I don't accept returns or exchanges, but if something doesn't work, message me, and I'll help.

View more

Shop review

Why this review appears

All reviews are from verified buyers. This review is shown automatically based on factors like recency, whether it includes comments, your chosen language, and whether the rating reflects the typical experience with the shop.

“Fantastic information, well organized- A must have.”

Rose

Sep 16, 2026

View all

Price:$7.99

You can only make an offer when buying a single item

Delivery

Instant download

Your files will be available to download once payment is confirmed. Here's how.

Instant download items don't accept returns, exchanges or cancellations. Please contact the seller about any problems with your order.

Seller's description

Specifications

May include: A deck of cards titled How We Hold On: A Guided Attachment Deck. The cover features a black and white ink illustration of a bird's nest containing three speckled eggs. The text The Psych Depot is printed at the bottom of the card.

How We Hold On is a printable card deck about attachment, the patterns you learned early for staying close to the people you depend on. Those patterns switch on when a relationship feels threatened. A partner goes quiet, a friend cancels, someone seems to pull away, and an old alarm starts running the show.

Most attachment products stop at naming your style. This deck goes further, into where each pattern began, what it's trying to protect, and how people move toward security over time. Researchers call that earned security, and it's possible at any age.

---

WHAT'S INSIDE

The Anxious Pattern: Protest, Hypervigilance, Reassurance, Self-Abandonment, Too Much, Where It Began

The Avoidant Pattern: Deactivating, Self-Reliance, The Phantom, Minimizing, One Foot Out, Where It Began

The Fearful Pattern: Push and Pull, Bracing, Testing, Exposure, Shutting Down, Where It Began

The Secure Pattern: A Secure Base, Asking Directly, Repair, Room to Breathe, Earned Security, Safe Haven

Every card has a plain-language description, an "It sounds like" line showing what people say or think when the pattern takes over, and one question to sit with.

The deck also includes a How to Use guide, a Start Here card on noticing when your attachment alarm goes off, a divider for each pattern, and a closing note.

---

HOW PEOPLE USE IT

Therapists use a card to open a session, to help a client name what happens in their relationships, or as a between-session prompt. It works in individual and couples work.

Couples can each draw a card and talk about which lines sound familiar. It's often easier to discuss a pattern on a card than to describe it in the middle of an argument.

On your own, draw one card at a time. Most people recognize themselves in more than one pattern, and patterns can shift from one relationship to another. The Secure cards come last, because they show where the work is heading.

---

WHAT YOU GET

- How We Hold On (PDF, 32 pages). Cover, How to Use, Start Here, four dividers, 24 cards, and a closing note.
- Start Here (PDF). A welcome page from The Psych Depot.

Each card is 5.5 x 7.5 inches with corner trim marks. Print at actual size on Letter or A4 paper and cut along the marks. Card stock holds up best, but plain paper works. You can also read the PDF on a tablet.

This is a digital file. Nothing ships.

---

WHO MADE IT

I'm Mike McInerney, a licensed professional counselor and a school counselor for 28 years. These cards draw on the attachment research of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. This deck is part of a series with The Parts Within (IFS), The Patterns We Repeat (schema therapy), What We Do Instead (defense mechanisms), and Facing the Givens (existential therapy).

---

WANT ALL FIVE DECKS?

This deck is also part of The Inner World Collection, a bundle of all five Psych Depot card decks (IFS, schema therapy, defense mechanisms, attachment and existential) for $24.99. That's 120 cards for less than the price of four decks bought separately.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/4590055213/therapy-card-deck-bundle-ifs-parts

Please note: This product is for education and self-help. It is not therapy, diagnosis, or medical advice, and buying it does not create a counselor-client relationship. Clinical tools support professional judgment and do not replace it. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 (US) or call 911.

Instant download. Because this is a digital file, I don't accept returns or exchanges, but if something doesn't work, message me, and I'll help.

  • Designed by
    ThePsychDepot
  • Item type
    Digital download
  • Digital file type(s)
    2 PDF
  • Width
    5.5 Inches
  • Height
    7.5 Inches
Shop with confidence
Etsy Purchase Protection

If something goes wrong with an order, we've got your back on all eligible purchases. View program terms

You may also like

Shoppers with similar taste loved these

Show more
Show more

Explore related searches

Fearful Avoidant Attachment

Anxious Avoidant Personality Disorder

Relationship Dynamics

Relationship Anxiety

Anxious Attachment Workbook for Women

Secure Attachment

Attachment Style Workbook

Listed on Oct 6, 2026
Homepage Books, Movies & Music Books Blank Books Journals & Notebooks