Funny Retro Housewife Greeting Card | Everything in Moderation Except Martinis

She believes in balance. One in the glass, one in the arm.

Featuring a mid-century blonde in a satin robe, reclining in her pink armchair beside an IV bag with two olives floating in it, "Everything in Moderation" is made for martini lovers, birthdays that will require recovery, get-well wishes with the right priorities, and anyone whose wellness routine is mostly gin (or vodka).

"Everything in Moderation" is a premium greeting card from Domestic Disturbia: darkly funny illustrations inspired by 1950s advertising art and the quiet chaos lurking beneath a perfect domestic life.

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄: Blank, so you can raise a toast. Or a second one. We're not judging.

-----------------------

𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒:
• 5x7” greeting card
• Printed on heavyweight cardstock
• Includes Kraft A7 peel-and-seal envelope
• Protective clear sleeve
• Envelope sticker seal
• Professionally printed in the USA

-----------------------

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑:
• Birthdays
• Get Well Soon (the self-inflicted kind)
• Friendship
• Just Because
• Cocktail Lovers
• Dark Humor Lovers
• Anyone who considers the olive a serving of vegetables
• Anyone whose self-care routine starts with a shaker
• Anyone who has never once asked for a light pour
• Anyone who practices moderation in all things she doesn't enjoy

-----------------------

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆:
Single card orders ship via USPS First Class Mail within 1-2 business days. Please allow up to 7 days for delivery. Tracking isn’t available on single card orders. This is normal, not a crisis. Orders of 2 or more cards will ship via USPS Ground Advantage in a protective bubble mailer with tracking included.

All orders of $35+ ship free.

-----------------------

𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/DomesticDisturbia#faq

-----------------------

𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒𝐄:
This item is an original Domestic Disturbia design and is intended for personal use only. The artwork, design, and text are original creations of Domestic Disturbia and are protected by copyright. Reproduction, scanning, copying, editing, or redistribution of this design for commercial use or resale is not permitted.


© Domestic Disturbia. All rights reserved. All feelings repressed.

-----------------------

𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐀:
Domestic Disturbia is a collection of darkly funny products inspired by mid-century advertising illustrations, vintage homemaking culture, and the quiet chaos hidden beneath perfectly arranged suburban life.

Artwork concept, art direction, and brand voice by Domestic Disturbia. Rendered with generative tools and refined digitally. Every sentiment is an original product of our deeply questionable imagination.

If you like this, it gets worse.
Find us at domesticdisturbia.com