In June of 2012, I was 27 years old with a Degree in both Business Administration and Spanish, a minor in Physics, 6 weeks away from finishing my thesis for my Masters of Architecture Degree, working part time at the Health Department, and 7 months pregnant with boy #2...I thought my excel spreadsheet and I had it all figured out.

Amos was 16 months old at that point. We had finally figured out from test after test and doctor after doctor that what he began doing since he was 3 months old was not just passing out or fainting. His heart was completely flat lining. At his worse point, he was doing it 2-4 times a week for an average of 11 seconds per episode. 21 seconds was the longest event we had recorded on his heart monitor. "Pallid Breath-holding" was the name they finally told us. Any stressful situation: pain, fear, illness...and sometimes the word "no", even, would take him down. When our heart rate increases, our chest compresses to slow it down, but his would keep slowing until it flat-lined. His body would go lifeless, eyes wide open and glazed over, and you just hold him...waiting for that next heart beat. Then beat............beat.........beat......beat...beat..beat.beat beat, there was the breath, and he was back, with no clue where he was or what was going on. Just tears and fear. I don't know how he felt.

#2 was due in August: little Sawyer. Amongst all the crazyiness, I was determined he would get newborn pictures taken just like big brother did, no 2nd kid syndrome. I wanted him to have his pic with the crocheted turtle shell and hat, love! But why buy it when I could figure out how to do it myself? I knew once how to crochet. So I bought a 20 page book and learned how. And the cheesecloth wraps? Let's just say that I tried out tiny samples and food coloring (bacause that was all I had on hand at the moment) and created a really bad addiction. Rit dye has a certain amount of liquid dyes, but creating new colors by making your own recipes? You can get carried away. Sawyer's photographer was my cousin (Jyn Allen Photography). She saw what I did and suggested a store. But what to name it? But of course, something as simple as the names of my soon to be 2 boys.

Sawyer was born on August 1st, 5 weeks after opening my store. Never in my life could I have imagined how things would unfold afterwards. God had a plan of His own. My excel spreadsheets became obsolete almost overnight. I never went back to the Health Dept. after my maternity leave. I never went back to finish my thesis for my masters. And I have never once looked back. I didn't have to. God had given me the perfect opportunity to use my business degree, my international language skills, my studies in math, and my desire to create and design. This is why I went to college for 7 and a half years. God knew. I am not crazy...I am trusting...trusting in God. I still didn't know what was to come...

In the spring of 2013, when Sawyer was 9 months old, we finally decided something was definitely wrong. His doctors agreed. At this point, Jan. 6, 2014, Sawyer has physical therapy, occupational therapy, home therapy, feeding therapy, and speech therapy weekly. He has hypotonia, low muscle tone, which affects his entire body, more so on the right side of his body than the left. He has both gross and motor delays, a Sensory processing disorder (undersensitized), a Severe Vestibular Dysfunction (unable to process movement correctly), acid reflux, gastroparesis (partially paralzyed stomach), low intestine tone (constipation), flat feet, one leg longer (as a result of his motor delays), unable to properly control his tongue for feeding and talking (he has choked and gagged more than I can even count), and a lazy eye. He has had hypospadias surgery. Three days after he turned 2 he had a surgery called a supraglottoplasty to remove the extra tissue above his voice box that was collapsing and falling into his airways everytime he breathed in and cutting down his oxygen levels. Next Monday he will have surgery on his eyes: Strabismus (to fix his lazy eyes). He has had more tests than I can remember. Poked and prodded, put to sleep again and again, shocked, scoped, it goes on. From East TN to Vanderbilt to Cincinatti, he has been tested over and over and in March we will begin his 3rd round of genetics testing.

Amos finally received a pacemaker in August of 2013 at 2 1/2 years old. The decision was given to my husband and I as to wether we wanted to try it or not. It was not guaranteed to work. And believe me, it would have been much easier to deal with had his Doctor told us he was getting one and not left the decision to us. But it turned out to be the best decision we could make for him. That pacemaker is our best friend. Not once has it failed him.

The name of my store could not have been more fitting: AMOS and SAWYER. It is because of my store that I can be there for them.

God knew.

God knows.

God is good.