Bouncing Off The Walls
Hello
I'm Kristina
I was in kindergarten when I learned that freedom of creativity isn’t as free as it should be. That for the most part we are taught to conform, blend in, be the same as everyone else. That going against the grain somehow means you’re strong-willed or stubborn with the implication that those are bad traits to have.
When I started school we were only allowed to paint with one colour at a time. “Suppose to learn our colours” (insert eye roll here) If that didn’t frustrate me enough we had a special Christmas picture to paint as a gift for our parents and the teacher HELD MY HAND and directed me in painting it! As a result I learned that not everyone understood creative freedom or exploration.
Then there was the day that I secretly drew a BEAUTIFUL queen in the most gorgeous lacy dress, flowing hair and jeweled crown on a plain white school flashcard that just had the letter Q on it. It definitely needed sprucing up if you asked me but they hadn’t asked and when I got in trouble for it I’ll never forget what the teacher said “Kristina, I don’t think it could have been you that drew this queen on here because it’s too good. Maybe you just did the crown?” Relieved I didn’t get into bigger trouble I didn’t correct her but I’ll never forget the anger I felt at being underestimated that day.
I could never handle just conforming to fit in or not pushing the boundaries just a bit to see what would happen. I’m a freedom seeker and struggle greatly with regimented ways which didn’t make me easy to teach or parent often leading me to think there was something wrong with me when in reality it’s that somewhere along the way we start to be afraid. Afraid to stand out too much, afraid to be different or rock the boat so we teach our children to conform, to do the same painting as everyone else, use the same colours as everyone else. What if we didn’t? What if we listened to our inner voices that said “Try the blue paint instead, tell them you drew that beautiful queen and damn the consequences!” What if we embraced our desire for self-expression? It’s a journey that will make your soul grow and I really want that for you too.
