I was at a regular monthly board meeting ... and I allowed myself to get WAY engaged by what people were saying and how people were acting. I felt compelled to respond, justify, explain, sigh. I was TOTALLY frustrated. The meeting moved soooo slowly. It drove me NUTS!!

But what it really did — was make me sick. I had to go straight home and go to bed and stay there the rest of the day. My health is not good and I had allowed myself to make me sick! This could not go on. Would I have to give up being a board member, but it was my only identity in this small town I now lived in. If I continued as a board member, then how could I change my reactions so being there didn’t make me sick??

I was talking to a friend and said, “What I need are, like, flash cards” that would remind me of the things I need to remember in each & every moment. Those things that I tend to forget until it is too late. I was joking, I thought, about flash cards. But then, I thought, I have a bunch of “business card blanks” from making myself fun cards to hand to people when I wanted them to know my address, etc. And I just loved the cute clip art that I had used on those cards. Hummm, I think I could play with that — and that might even be fun.

I made them solely for me. I never expected to even show them to anyone else. I took a lot of time to refine the words to reflect my exact need.

I used them at the next board meeting. I spread them out on the table and shuffled them around, depending on which issues were being triggered. And they helped me. They reassured me that I do have at least some control over my behavior. It IS possible to be on my best behavior, even if I can’t change my underlying issues. I can leave a board meeting and be tired, but NOT be sick.

And I have found the reminders on these cards are useful throughout my life. On a trip, at the airport, driving around town. These reminders make me feel like I can be the better person that I so want to be.