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Announcement
Last updated on Jan 5, 2023
Reviews
4.9
(1742)
Average item review
We calculate this number using a recency-weighted average of all ratings, with a rating's value decreasing by half each year to best reflect the current experience.
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Leah on Jul 23, 2026
5 out of 5 starsHilarious birthday banners, great quality and great seller
Offensive Occasions responded on Aug 3, 2026
Brilliant 👏 Thanks so much for your review 😀
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Sharon on Jul 18, 2026
5 out of 5 starsWent down like a storm! Brilliant!
Offensive Occasions responded on Aug 3, 2026
Brilliant 👏 Thanks so much for your review 😀
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Sharon on Jul 18, 2026
5 out of 5 starsWent down like a storm! Brilliant!
Offensive Occasions responded on Aug 3, 2026
Brilliant 👏 Thanks so much for your review 😀
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Alison on Jul 15, 2026
5 out of 5 starsamazing I love it
Offensive Occasions responded on Aug 3, 2026
😂 Love it! Thanks so much
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Lauren on Jul 8, 2026
5 out of 5 starsGreat item, really pleased with it!
Offensive Occasions responded on Aug 3, 2026
Brilliant 👏 Thanks so much for your review 😀
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Sherry on Jun 27, 2026
5 out of 5 starsBrilliant!
Offensive Occasions responded on Aug 3, 2026
Thanks so much for your review 😀
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Sherry on Jun 27, 2026
5 out of 5 starsbrilliant@
Offensive Occasions responded on Aug 3, 2026
Thanks so much for your review 😀
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Sherry on Jun 27, 2026
5 out of 5 starsBrilliant!
Offensive Occasions responded on Aug 3, 2026
Thanks so much for your review 😀
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Catherine on Apr 18, 2026
5 out of 5 starsJust as described, thank you!
Offensive Occasions responded on Aug 3, 2026
Very welcome - thanks for buying 😊
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Julie on Mar 21, 2026
5 out of 5 starsBrilliant. Cant wait to put it up. X
Offensive Occasions responded on Aug 3, 2026
Thanks so much for your review 😀 Hope you loved it!
About OffensiveOccasions
Sales
11,101
On Etsy since 2020
Shop members
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Ange
Owner, Boss Bitch
Offensive Occasions was started by a woman with a potty mouth and a dream of doing something that makes her happy (spoiler alert* it's was me - Ange). We design offensive cards and gifts for you to send to your very favourite people!
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Mike
Big Beardy Bastard
This is Mike. He works his bad-ass-graphic-design magic on our webshite & turns the artwork I give him into the stuff you lucky buggers buy. He's bloody brilliant. He loves his beard more than life itself. He was smart enough to marry me.
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Fizzy
Social Media Ideas Bitch
This is Fizzy my little sin-ister. Also known as 'Golden-Tits.' She's my wing-woman. My order-packing supremo. My social media ideas bitch. She also tells me straight when my ideas are shit and makes me laugh too much.
Production partners
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Collaborative Partner
Glasgow, Scotland
Creates exclusive wax melts for Offensive Occasions - she is a wax wizardess! I love collaborating with other small business owners! Best of both worlds ...
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Manufacturer
United Kingdom
Hand-pour my stunning candles for me ... I haven't the patience, plus I love working with other incredible business to bring my swearing dreams to life!
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Golalacards
Glastonbury, England
Handmake these awesome soap, shampoo & shave bars!
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Collaborative Partner/manufacturer
England, United Kingdom
Print on demand
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Printing Service
Glasgow, Scotland
I print my cards through this awesome, local business!
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Manufacturer
Brooklyn, NY
Manufactures product
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Collaborative Partner
Glasgow, Scotland
Make my designs come to life in the form of a glorious enamel pin!
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Printify
United Kingdom
These lovely folk print my designs and ship your shiz to you
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Manufacturer
United Kingdom
Manufacture product
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Collaborative Partner
Glasgow, Scotland
Handmake my glorious, sweary bath bombs from my designs as I am shite at making them. I tried. I failed. Plus I love collaborating with other small business owners. Sharing is caring!
Shop policies
Last updated on May 10, 2021
Shipping
See item details for estimated arrival times.
Customs and import taxes
For US deliveries, Etsy policy requires that import duties and fees are included in the checkout price. Non-US buyers may need to pay these fees upon delivery. You can message me to confirm how these fees will be paid for your order. I'm not responsible for any customs-related delays.
Payment options
Secure options
Accepts Etsy Gift Cards and Etsy Credits
Etsy keeps your payment information secure. Etsy shops never receive your credit card information.
Returns & exchanges
See item details for return and exchange eligibility.
Cancellations
Cancellations: not accepted
Please contact the seller if you have any problems with your order.
More information
Last updated on
Dec 17, 2025
Frequently asked questions
Can you write and send a card directly to someone for me?
If you are in a rush, and you need me to handwrite a card for you and send it direct to the recipient, please give me a MESSAGE as soon as you have placed your order. If you add it to the notes, I will assume that you think we can digitally print your message (which we can't), and your card will be sent to you blank. I will need the exact message & the address to send the card to. Don't be sending me a novel - there's is a max 250 characters! I have friggin' lovely handwriting. I didn't get much in looks, but it's totally balanced by my excellent pen-womenship and wit of course! Plus, it's such a nice touch having a handwritten note in the card rather than it being 'printed'. You can pass it off as your own writing too ... Bonus!
My item hasn't arrived
As advised on our listing, if you chose a tracked service for your item, please give us a message and we can either track the package for you and provide you with an update, or give you the tracking information (which you should have received with your dispatch notice from Etsy anyway). If you opted for the free 2nd class standard delivery, or any other 'standard' service, we can not provide you with a tracking number as this service does not qualify for tracking. It is also worth noting that Royal Mail, the carrier I use, only considers items 'undelivered' after 10 working days for UK deliveries or 25 working days for worldwide deliveries!
Why do your mugs and tote bags take up to 7 working days to print?
Our mugs and bags are printed especially for you, on demand, so they take a little longer than, for example, the cards I have printed and have in stock (by that I mean stored in my home office). They are well worth the wait though!
Do you dispatch at the weekend?
Unfortunately, we do not dispatch at the weekend, but as the minimum dispatch time is 1-3 days on our items, even if you buy something on a Friday, it will be shipped to you on Monday - still within 3 days. The exception to this is our mugs, tote bags and 'Massive Sacks' (they are printed on demand so take up to 7 working days for production & dispatch)
Your cards are A5 size. What size stamp will they need if I want to post it to a friend or family member?
Our cards can be sent to the lucky recipient with a normal sized stamp (in the UK). They don't require a large stamp even though they are A5 sized.
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