DamnAverage

Devils...monsters...

Bolingbrook, Illinois · 3210 Sales

DamnAverage

Devils...monsters...

Bolingbrook, Illinois 3210 Sales On Etsy since 2011

5 out of 5 stars
(1075)

Announcement   Please read this space/my profile, and my policies! Shipping delays and other important information outlined in the read more-

I will most likely not respond to inquiries that are answered here, Twitter, or Tumblr (@DamnAverage)

DELAYS:
All grab-bags and critters have a small delay on them, but I am trying to get them out within the timeframe. I am in the process of moving again but will try to keep up on new orders for stock. Anything made to order (critters, kegel balls, any toys) may be delayed further. Please do not hesitate to shoot me a message but forgive me if I take a bit to get back to you.

CUSTOMS:
Custom options are not available at this time. Made to order options are only on listings in the made to order section and are as listed

AS A NOTE:
I am living with a smoker again, although they have cut down significantly. I am keeping all items in bins at all times, but some smoke smell may be present on packaging, bags, and possibly a hint on items. A good working solution I've found is to place the toy/critter in a similar sized container to it and fill it with damp baking soda, allow to rest for at least a week to two. It is not a surefire solution but it helps a LOT. Further bleaching, or boiling (not both at once), will help further. Airing out is also good.

Products for adult (18+ or 21+ where applicable) use only.

Buyers are responsible for reading this space, my policies and all of the listing information.

Announcement

Last updated on Feb 13, 2017

Please read this space/my profile, and my policies! Shipping delays and other important information outlined in the read more-

I will most likely not respond to inquiries that are answered here, Twitter, or Tumblr (@DamnAverage)

DELAYS:
All grab-bags and critters have a small delay on them, but I am trying to get them out within the timeframe. I am in the process of moving again but will try to keep up on new orders for stock. Anything made to order (critters, kegel balls, any toys) may be delayed further. Please do not hesitate to shoot me a message but forgive me if I take a bit to get back to you.

CUSTOMS:
Custom options are not available at this time. Made to order options are only on listings in the made to order section and are as listed

AS A NOTE:
I am living with a smoker again, although they have cut down significantly. I am keeping all items in bins at all times, but some smoke smell may be present on packaging, bags, and possibly a hint on items. A good working solution I've found is to place the toy/critter in a similar sized container to it and fill it with damp baking soda, allow to rest for at least a week to two. It is not a surefire solution but it helps a LOT. Further bleaching, or boiling (not both at once), will help further. Airing out is also good.

Products for adult (18+ or 21+ where applicable) use only.

Buyers are responsible for reading this space, my policies and all of the listing information.

DamnAverage

Contact shop owner

DamnAverage

2 Mystery Mini Hearts
$10.00
Mystery BallSheep
$15.00
Super Soft Impish Reef mature
$60.00
Super Soft Chocolate Brown Ball-Less Orc mature
$55.25
Super Soft Red and Offwhite Reef mature
$60.00
Super Soft Red and Chocolate Brown Jackal mature
$34.00
Soft Chocolate Brown Jackal mature
$34.00
Valentine's Squishy Grab-Bags
$5.00
Hard Discount Chocolate Day Pawn mature
$30.00
Squishy Grab-Bags
$5.00
Mystery Skull
$10.00
Soft Discount Chocolate Day Satyr mature
$40.00
Medium Discount Chocolate Day Satyr mature
$40.00
Soft Discount Chocolate Day Ministang mature
$20.00
Soft Discount Chocolate Day Tentacle mature
$40.00
Super Soft Discount Chocolate Day Knight mature
$75.00
Soft Discount Chocolate Day Pawn mature
$30.00
Super Soft Discount Chocolate Day Krampus mature
$50.00
Soft Discount Chocolate Day Average Alien mature
$40.00
View all 81 items

Reviews

Average item review
5 out of 5 stars
(1075)
ausair

ausair on Feb 15, 2017

5 out of 5 stars

fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic!

ausair

ausair on Feb 15, 2017

5 out of 5 stars

wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful!

ausair

ausair on Feb 15, 2017

5 out of 5 stars

awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome

Laura Barth Kaderabek

Laura Barth Kaderabek on Feb 11, 2017

5 out of 5 stars

Love the mold and colors of this toy!!!

Andrew

Andrew on Feb 10, 2017

5 out of 5 stars

I hemmed and hawed over getting this, but I'm glad I went for it! That marble is so crisp and beautiful. Oil-based lubes are best for reducing the draggy texture. Verdict from my partner is that it's a little too big/firm/stubbornly erect to use as a packer unless you're okay with a pretty noticeable bulge. They're pretty petite though, ymmv.

View all 1075 reviews

About

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Shop policies

Last updated on January 3, 2016
Hello! Welcome to my little corner of the world!
All of my adult toys, critters, and stress relievers are hand-sculpted and hand-cast by one person - me. I strive for organic designs that flow with the body for comfort and pleasure, followed by an appeal to fantasy in shape, and an extraordinary exploration of color fusions. All of my products are cast in platinum cured silicone from a provider that has tested for safety in prolonged mucous membrane application. My color choices and marbles are all pieces I put a lot of thought and consideration into and I am proud of their positive impact on my synesthesia.
I generally do not apply personal characters to representational toys for the sake of allowing my customers to associate any model with anything of their choosing. Personally I have teratophilia and to me everything is a monster or alien or demon or...you get the picture.

Do keep in mind that as a one person operation, every aspect of this is run solely by me.

Accepted payment methods

  • Pay with Visa
  • Pay with Master Card
  • Pay with American Express
  • Pay with Discover
  • Pay with PayPal
  • Buy with Apple Pay
  • Pay with Sofort
  • Pay with iDeal
  • Accepts Etsy gift cards
Payment
Accepted payment methods: Direct checkout, now including credit/debit AND PayPal.

Payments are to be made up front. I am not comfortable taking partial payments.

Please no impulse purchases.

If you have questions, concerns, or a need for partial refund, you must get in contact with me. People who file chargebacks in particular without getting in touch with me will be banned from future purchases.
Shipping
All items are shipped DISCREETLY in plain brown Uline brand boxes, and the return address is either printed or hand-written and is a pseudonym and PO Box. Customs forms for out-of-country packages list the contents as a sculpture.

Shipping is to occur within the dates given on your invoice, but occasionally I may fall behind and I apologize for that. In the case of delays by any situation I will keep updates posted on my profile page and often in my shop announcement. Please check those first before inquiring about delayed shipping.

International customers are responsible for being aware of their countries shipping laws and any possible customs fees. You will not receive a refund on shipping if your package is returned to me due to your refusal to pay customs as set by your country.
Refunds and Exchanges
I do not currently offer returns or full refunds on a received product. If you find your product faulty, let me know and we will figure out a good solution.
Additional policies and FAQs
Buyer assumes responsibility for safely using products created with intention of insertion. I am not responsible for injury caused by misuse/misjudging of toys nor use of stress relievers for insertion, or other unintended purposes.

By purchasing, buyer agrees that they are of age (18 or 21+ depending), and that they have read the listing, my profile, and policies IN FULL.

No tolerance for abuse policy: I am entitled at my discretion to refuse service and/or contact to anyone who is abusive. Abuse includes cursing at me (Sheep/DamnAverage)/referring to me with insults, slandering/libeling, filing charge backs, opening cases in an attempt to bully me into doing something faster, defamation of my character that is published on any other website, or any attempt to find a 'grey' area or skirt the lines of the above I may consider abuse as well.

More information

Last updated on Jan 3, 2017
Frequently asked questions

Are you open for custom orders?

Custom orders, designs, and made to order toys are not frequently available. I have no ETA on true custom orders. I am working on many designs and am infamously slow at modeling new ones - while open to hearing about your ideas, I can't guarantee that I will take them on board and if I do it will be a long time before their completion. Made to order listings are available sparingly and will be marked as such. Updates will be posted under shop info and on my profile.

Is there a list for all DamnAverage toys?

You can find a (work in progress) catalogue over here: http://damnaverage.tumblr.com/catalogue

How do I use the (x)?

Jokingly asked about many of my critters. They are stress relievers and are obviously not intended to go into any orifice of your body.

Are items shipped discreetly?

Yes! All items are shipped in a plain brown box. The label has a printed pseudonym and PO Box for a return address and your address will be hand written. It looks like a package from a friend, but if you need to disguise anything from prying roommates I highly recommend picking up critters or grab bags with your order.

What are the differences in First Class and Priority International?

You can find the full information on USPS' website, https://www.usps.com/international/mail-shipping-services.htm however the short of it is that First Class is cheaper, takes longer, and you will receive a customs number but NOT a tracking number.

Care instructions

To be updated shortly

Can you teach me to make toys?

Sorry, no. It isn't anything personal, but a matter of my time needing to be spent with my work and my security. There are a myriad of free tutorials available from the amazing professionals at Smooth-On and I highly recommend checking them out for any of your molding and casting questions.