smarmyclothes
Santa Fe, New Mexico |
Announcement
Every piece in my shop is handmade by me!
All clothing and accessories ship in 2-5 business days.
PDF sewing patterns are available for immediate download.
smarm·y (smär'mē)
adj., -i·er, -i·est.
1. unpleasantly and excessively suave or ingratiating in manner or speech. 2. hypocritically, complacently, or effusively earnest; unctuous. 3. of low or sleazy taste 4. handmade dresses, tops, and skirts with bright colors, mutilated t-shirts, polka dots and stripes.
-Lex
http://www.whatthecraft.com
Announcement
Every piece in my shop is handmade by me!
All clothing and accessories ship in 2-5 business days.
PDF sewing patterns are available for immediate download.
smarm·y (smär'mē)
adj., -i·er, -i·est.
1. unpleasantly and excessively suave or ingratiating in manner or speech. 2. hypocritically, complacently, or effusively earnest; unctuous. 3. of low or sleazy taste 4. handmade dresses, tops, and skirts with bright colors, mutilated t-shirts, polka dots and stripes.
-Lex
http://www.whatthecraft.com
All Items
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black Ouija planchette necklace - halloween gothic occult
$19.003 people have this in their cart -
Vintage Style Retro Apron - Printable PDF Pattern
$9.0020 people have this in their cart -
Rockabilly Retro Swing Dress - Printable PDF Pattern
$9.0011 people have this in their cart -
Zipper Back Pencil Skirt - Printable PDF Pattern
$9.00 -
Fingerless Gloves or Armwarmers - WhatTheCraft Printable PDF Pattern - S thru L
$9.00 -
wood Ouija planchette earrings - halloween gothic occult jewelry
$19.00 -
Cheeky Bikini panties or swim suit bottoms - WhatTheCraft Printable PDF Pattern - XS thru XL
$9.00 -
antique sewing machine necklace
$19.00 -
Ruffle Bustle Skirt - Printable PDF Pattern XS - 2X
$9.00
Reviews
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Cynthia on Aug 9, 2020
5 out of 5 starsAbsolutely lovely pattern. I'm not completely done yet, if my needle didn't break when making the sweetheart neckline, it could have been done within a day though. I haven't made any clothing before so my skill level is not great but even I can pull it off. So far it's looking lovely, I'm going to buy more fabric to make a few more of these.
I have needed to alter some of the pattern since my breasts are too big for even the XL with the fabric I chose. Definitely make sure to get stretchy fabric if you have larger breasts. I do still need to alter the bottom part of the top, so it's not too loose. So a lot of altering but it's worth it, it looks stunning.
I also asked for some tips on how to adjust it best to fit perfect, I got a really quick and detailed response, now it's absolutely perfect. -
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Margaret on Jul 9, 2020
4 out of 5 starsIs definitely only for stretch fabrics- I had to add a zipper and extra panels in the back to make mine fit at all. However, it looks pretty dang good anyway.
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Jamie on May 23, 2020
4 out of 5 starsI really like the pattern and the response time of the shop owner but I was disappointed with the ruffle only because there were no directions or pattern on how to make it. Thankfully the shop owner was quick to respond and has helped me figure it out :)
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Reviewed by Inactive on Apr 11, 2020
5 out of 5 starsPattern worked great, thank you!
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Jasmine on Aug 11, 2020
5 out of 5 starsAwesome for any goth or fan of the macabre. It's about the size I thought it would be, but much lighter which makes it super comfortable to wear
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Mitchell on May 10, 2020
5 out of 5 starsOkay I just thought this looked cool and so had to have it but I did not expect it to be THIS amazing. I need another for my friend.. This is just so fun and unique.
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Mitchell on May 3, 2020
5 out of 5 starsWell written, beautiful pattern. I am beyond excited to sew my first me-made adult dress!
About smarmyclothes
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No need to worry... Ghost, the Postmaster General, keeps a wary eye on the comings & goings of the Smarmy shipping dept.
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Beware the wall of fabric. Avalanches may happen at any time.
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The sketch...
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The raw materials...
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The finished product.
Rad clothing for dudettes who want to stand out in a crowd. Embrace your inner circus freak.
SmarmyClothes is a one woman circus act featuring a kaleidoscope of colors, patterns, and subcultures. Every item is designed and made by me.
I'm pretty much self-taught - by training I'm a nurse. I learned to sew in a middle school "Life Skills" class and from my mom. After learning the basic skills of sewing, it was pretty much just lots of practice from there.
I've been selling my stuff since 2003, and SmarmyClothes.com was established in January of 2005. SmarmyClothes was pretty much a hobby until I finished my bachelor's degree (for Nursing) in December of 2005, when I decided that doing fashion design full time sounded like a grand idea.
I work pretty much 7 days a week and my jerk of a boss (hey wait, that's me!) doesn't give me dick for benefits, but I still wouldn't trade my job as a starving artist for anything. I get to stay up late, sleep in, and work in my PJs.
If you're not sick of me already, you can check out my blog: http://whatthecraft.com
I'm probably posting about food as we speak.
I also sing and play bass in a punk rock band - The Extreme Unicorns.
Thanks to all of you that buy my clothes. If you didn't support SmarmyClothes, I know exactly where I'd be... (two words: stool sample). You guys rock!
Shop members
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Lex
Owner, Maker, Designer
Howdy, I'm Lex! When I'm not eating lots of food or making a mess, I juggle the designing, pattern making, sewing, photographing, web design, and everything else in between here at SmarmyClothes.
Shop policies
Accepted payment methods
Returns and exchanges
I gladly accept returns
I don't accept exchanges or cancellations
The following items can't be returned or exchanged
- Custom or personalized orders
- Perishable products (like food or flowers)
- Digital downloads
- Intimate items (for health/hygiene reasons)
Returns and exchange details
I have the utmost confidence that you will be 100% satisfied with your item.
If you have a problem with your item or think I've made a mistake, please email me with your concerns within 14 days of receiving your order. I do accept returns as long as the order is unworn/unwashed/undamaged.
Rush fees are non-refundable.
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SEWING PATTERNS: Due to the nature of downloadable patterns and templates, all sales are final. Patterns may not be refunded or exchanged.
Please please PLEASE make sure to save a copy of your patterns and templates to an external hard drive or cloud drive. You could even just email the pattern to yourself as an attachment. That way, in the event of a computer virus, crash, etc, you will always have a safe copy of your patterns.
In the event that you lose the pattern and do not have a back-up, please contact me, and I should be able to send you a new copy.
Payment
Shipping
Most sewing patterns are available for immediate download after purchase- you should receive an email from Etsy notifying you that your files is available for download.
Sewing patterns that are not listed as instant download will be emailed to your Paypal address 12-48 hours after payment is received.
IF YOU ARE IN THE US: Most items are automatically shipped Priority (2-3 days), but I am more than happy to ship First Class, just contact me before paying.
IF YOU ARE OUTSIDE OF THE US: Items are shipped via First Class International by default. FCI generally takes 1-2 weeks, but sometimes takes much longer. Please contact me for Priority Shipping information if you need your order by a certain date.
If you would like to purchase insurance for your order, please let me know before you pay!
INTERNATIONAL INSURANCE IS AVAILABLE!