NUTELLA DREAMS LATE NIGHT CRAFTS

thnkdfrent's Shop Announcement

Shop Announcement and Policies sections have long legs but please take a few moments to read before making your purchase.

The muse is a night owl-she visits after midnight. When I finally crawl into bed, I dream of Nutella sandwiches.

The little pic on the right features my 14 year old feline Ripley. Doesn't she look sweet? Ripley recently failed her fifth Anger Management Program - she hit the group leader with her iPod. Hey Ripley, put down that seam ripper!!!

SAD UPDATE: Ripley has hitched a ride to the Rainbow Bridge toting a small sharp object and sporting a new four letter word tattoo. Emergency plan for constructing a Maximum Security Animal Prison on the Bridge has just been announced. Coincidence? I think not...

HAPPY UPDATE: Frank baby cat is our latest rescue. He looks like CNN's Anderson Cooper.

This is the home of the antsy artisan which translates into user friendly projects that are quick and easy. New patterns are always being hatched. Each unique crochet pattern is especially designed for intermediate beginners or patient beginners who can read a pattern and crochet in the round. Materials always include inexpensive yarns that are readily available. Many patterns use variations of a simple stitch technique to impart awesome texture without intimidating hook gymnastics.

CROCHETING IS GOOD FOR YOU SECTION:
Research clearly shows the life enhancing benefits of playing with hooks. My bio reads: 327 years young, astronaut, crocodile wrestler, neurosurgeon and Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model. On a personal note, I keep getting texted bad boy messages from someone called Zac Efron. Yep, crocheting is good for you.

Nothing compares to the beauty of a handcrafted piece of artwork. I humbly offer finished pieces created with the hands of an experienced and responsible artisan. Each item has great material genes to withstand the test of time.

If you are or a loved one is undergoing chemo or health challenge, please accept one hat pattern as my gift. SPECIAL NOTE: This offer is only available to established Etsy members with at least one feedback rating. Complete purchase so that Etsy receives fees but do not submit payment. Kindly use the code word ANGEL in message to seller. Heartfelt wishes for a speedy recovery...

MOM ALWAYS LOVED YOU BEST SECTION:
The talent on Etsy amazes and inspires me on a daily basis. A recent find is a beautiful shop called CBreezeDesigns owned by Christy - one great lady. Her fused glass buttons and other works of art are like little pieces of heaven.

FINE PRINT/PLEASE READ LISTING BEFORE PURCHASING/$6.99 DOES NOT INCLUDE THE SELLER/"NO SOUP FOR YOU" SECTION:

Projects are emailed - hard copies are not available to help keep prices down.

Listings state whether item is pattern and not actual garment. Dear Friends, if I charged $6.99 for an item that took hours to create plus cost of materials, shipping, PayPal and Etsy fees, my new address would be the license plate of my car.

Payment via PayPal is due within 24 hours of purchase. Files are emailed within 24 hours after payment is received. NOTE: If payment is via echeck, files will be sent when check clears-usually 3-5 days. Please check your Junk or Spam folder for wayward files and contact me if patterns do not reach your addy within 24 hours. Missing documents may also have been accidentally deleted after your dose of Ambien. If my body is in the midst of reincarnation, my husband's new wife will email files after she finishes her homework.

Purchase does not include crochet correspondence course, visuals, pictorial tutorials, custom sizing or altering of original pattern. Please use Google or visit your local library's craft section to instruct and inspire you. Youtube.com offers awesome visuals.

Patterns have been checked OCD style and garments are lab tested on grumpy relatives kept in well-ventilated cages. I would love to treat each one of you like only children but can only answer one or two email questions per buyer. Email support may take up to three days and are answered in the order they are received. Please note that I was "turned into a real live girl" by my fairy godmother so my puppet days are over. Humans need to sleep at least two hours a night or will end up in the crazy hospital making weird things out of popsicle sticks.

Projects have been copyrighted by my legal eagle husband, a.k.a. The Golem and yes, he loves geeky lawyer jokes - his favorite:

"Why did the shark not eat the lawyer?
"Professional Courtesy."

In other words, instructions or any parts thereof which include material lists, etc. cannot be duplicated, distributed, resold, shared with craft moguls or the world wide web.

My convo box - his name is Vinny - is a clean freak. He hates his space littered with boring threats, infantile rants and other toxic waste. Kindly bray and stomp your hoof outside the box. On behalf of Vinny, I thank you.

I absolutely welcome requests from teachers who would like to use my patterns. I am incredibly flattered that you want to cast my pattern in a starring role in your crochet class. Please convo me before advertising a class. I will supply details re: right to use pattern and all that blah, blah stuff.

Actual completed items may be sold unless otherwise indicated to fuel your entrepreneurial spirit and make a million bucks.

My shop name and Etsy addy must be mentioned wherever item is listed or displayed as follows:

Nutella Dreams Late Night Crafts
www.thnkdfrent.etsy.com

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME SECTION:
My apologies to the late great Dr. Seuss.

Once upon a time, Thing 1 and Thing 2 decided to make mischief in Etsyland. The air was thick with the smell of hijinks. Thing 1 purchased a hat pattern from this designer and only days later, Thing 2 listed a similar hat pattern.

Well, wouldn't you know - Thing 1 gave the original designer tepid feedback and gave Thing 2 stellar feedback!

Hello! You cannot give yourself feedback. Not only is this creepy from a clinical point of view but is against Etsy policy.

The wise folk of Etsyland know your pattern was not inspired by playing with ball of yarn while sitting on your toadstool. Alas, the pattern was inspired by another's PDF file. As the saying goes, if it looks like a frog, leaps like a frog, adding speckles does not change the fact that it is still a frog.

If any of the above confuses you, please do a Wikipedia search for the word "NO".

I have the right to refuse a sale from any individual who does not respect my Shop Policies.

We all get inspired by others' ideas - there's nothing really new out there in the craft universe. The muse likes to recycle and will land on your own head in due time with great ideas to help you push the creative envelope.

TOUGH CROCHET LOVE/WOULD YOU KISS YOUR MOTHER WITH THAT MOUTH FEEDBACK/THE SELLER MUST BE AN IDIOT SECTION:
Please keep your eyes on the road and follow pattern directions exactly as written. If a crochet hook is as foreign to you as an iron or oven (excuse my projecting), please do not purchase my patterns. If you ask nicely, I'm sure your cougar granny would love to teach you the art of crocheting after she's finished hitting the clubs.

I design hats for the average size head which is neither 3 inches around nor 400 inches around - unless you are the victim of a 14th century curse - those can be nasty. If you use happy pills and read patterns upside down, don't blame me for Ripley Believe It or Not results. If brand of yarn is not available in your country, let me know how I can help. If PDF files won't download, please visit Adobe.com for a free Adobe Reader. Please note that you may have trouble opening files if you don't have latest Adobe Reader upgrade. Microsoft Word format is available at your request. I live in Arizona so when it's Wednesday in your town, it's only Monday in mine. Yep, I'm two to three hours behind. While you're purchasing a pattern from your Manhattan loft at 8:00 a.m., this Trueby is hugging her pillow dreaming of Eric the vampire.

Sellers get chomped on by the big bad buyer wolf from time to time. Buyers equally get hit with internet post traumatic syndrome. However, buyers just have to hit the pay button to get positive feedback - now that's great value! Just convo me if you have a problem and know I will do anything except remove that stuff underneath your shower drain to help.

Prices are crazy reasonable because I love the process of creating. I will combine shipping on multiple purchases to save you as much money as I can.

Have fun looking!

Love,
Ele